I will always love you
by eekhoorntje
Summary: As Alice leaves Wonderland, all her friends and also the person that she secretly loves very much, she immediately realizes that her decision had been a mistake and that she belongs nowhere else but Wonderland. She misses Wonderland the night of her departure, and she decides to return the next morning. But when she finally does, a nasty surprise is waiting for her... Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 ➛Bright Stars**

Alice was examining the purple Jabberwocky blood in the flask. She rolled it over in her hand, thinking about this essential decision.

She didn't know what to choose. Return home, or stay in Wonderland. She wasn't even sure if the world she came from really was her home; since she had arrived in Wonderland, she had felt like she was home. Especially when she noticed she had certain feelings for someone who lived in Wonderland.

She forced herself to wipe out the disturbing discussion and looked up at all the people who had fought bravely in the war against the Red Queen, Iracebeth and her followers.

She looked around. Her gaze lingered on her friends who all stood together. They were all talking merrily and took advantage of the fact they were free again.

She scanned all the present faces. She saw Chess the Cheshire cat of Wonderland, Thackery the mad march hare which had accompanied her at her first Wonderlandish tea party where she had also met the Hatter, that had grown to one of her best and closest friends.

She could also see Mallymkun, the brave dormouse who had saved her life when she was chased by the Bandersnatch, and also the funny twin boys, Tweedledee and Tweedledum. The White Queen and Bayard the bloodhound were in a deep and serious conversation, while McTwisp stood nodding in agreement. ''I told you she was the right Alice,'' McTwisp said a little nervous. Alice sniggered and turned around when she noticed someone was missing.

She scanned all the faces on the battlefield again and felt her eyes watered when she couldn't see the Hatter anywhere.

All kind of thoughts popped into Alice's mind, even though she knew very well he wouldn't leave her at this point, not now they had come this far. And she was right, her hurt feelings were quickly forgotten when she heard a familiar lisp behind her. ''You don't have to go back, you could stay.''

Alice recognized the lisp as if she had grown up with it. Alice turned around and looked into the Hatter's eyes. He wore a painful smile. Alice knew why he was sad, and she felt her own tears return. He knew she had to return, but nevertheless he did one last desperate attempt to make her stay.

''That sounds like heaven, but I can't. I have certain things to do, I can't leave without saying anything to my family,'' she replied sadly. ''But I'll come back, I promise.'' She put a hand on his shoulder when she saw his eyes watering.

He blinked, which caused a tear to silently roll over his cheek. Alice watched him for a few moments, feeling her own emotions taking over control. She didn't fight back the tear that had been prickling in her eye for some time. She didn't want to hide her feelings anymore, everyone was allowed to know how she felt; she really didn't want to leave Wonderland, not now she just realized it wasn't a dream at all. How ignorant she had been to think she was dreaming about Wonderland. And now she was standing here in a real world and now she had to leave it already. It felt unfair.

She watched Hatter's tear slide silently down his face and pausing on his chin.

She reached out a hand and gently wiped it away. ''I'll come back, I promise. Even though it might take some time,'' she whispered so only he could hear her.

He softly embraced her. There they stood. Their final goodbye.

Hatter had grown very important to Alice. At first sight, she had thought he was a mad hatter. But by the time they got to know each other, Alice started to care about him. More than usual.

Alice closed her eyes and tightened her grip. After several moments- what still felt too short to Alice- they broke apart.

''I am not leaving because I want to. I have a few things to sort out then I'll come back,'' Alice said, looking into the Hatter's deep blue-greenish eyes.

She watched his sad face for several moments, then said gently, ''You know, Hatter, that hat really suits you well,''

Her emotions had finally taken over control. She reached out a trembling hand, and gently stroked his cheek.

''Tarrant,'' Hatter whispered suddenly, he looked into Alice's eyes. ''What?'' Alice asked confused. She hadn't expected his complete random comment.

''Tarrant,'' he whispered again. ''I want you to call me Tarrant. It's my real name,'' he said a little bit louder and still not breaking eye-contact.

He lost his focus and struggled to find the right words. ''But, you don't have to, I-I am not forcing you to, b-but it's just….''

Alice placed a finger on his lips. ''I will,'' she paused. ''Tarrant,'' she said not breaking their remade eye-contact. He grinned his well-known teeth gap grin, but it quickly faded again when Alice popped the flask open and drank the purple substance which would take her home.

Alice felt tears streaming down her face. It hurt so much to think about the fact she would leave the place that really felt like home. She had sought many years for a place that felt home. And now she had found one and was forced to leave it.

Hatter quickly hugged her again and let his head rest on her shoulder. ''I love you, Alice,'' he whispered.

She closed her eyes, capturing the precious moment. She inhaled to reply, but hold her breath when she felt his warm embrace slowly fade away.

She opened her eyes and greeted two new waterfalls of tears. Above her, a bright light was shining right into her face.

She felt like she was drawn toward it. She didn't want this, she wanted to fall back and return, but she knew she couldn't so she didn't struggle. She squinted so her eyes could adjust to the sudden brightness, and climbed out of the rabbit hole to finish her adventure.

When she had managed to clamber out of it, she fell back onto the grass.

She wasn't wearing the shiny and heavy armor anymore, instead, she wore the same blue dress she had worn to the Ascot's party before Wonderland.

She closed her eyes and sighed. She decided to stay on the ground for some time as sudden loneliness struck her.

She listened to the soft and calming rustle of the trees that surrounded her, she could hear birds tweeting and the living nature does its thing.

She cried silently and wished for the pain to disappear, but it didn't. And she knew why. _You can only fully let go of something when you accept it,_ she thought sadly. _But I don't want to forget and accept It's gone. It was wonderful. The moment I realized how ignorant I had been to think Wonderland was my dream world, it felt like finally waking up after a long slumber,_ she thought dreamily despite the tears.

Then she realized something important and shot upright. _I have to return to the gazebo!_ she thought. Panic flooded in her mind and body. Her breath sped up and she started trembling.

''Come on, Alice! You can do this! You just have to deny his proposal, that's all,'' she whispered trying to encourage herself. But to no avail, she didn't even know how much time had passed while she was gone, and it troubled her deeply.

 _Before I face them, I will have to think of a good excuse._ She looked around searching for inspiration. She watched the trees in the forest sway gently in the soft breeze.

While she was watching the trees, her mind started playing memories in her head.

She saw Marmoreal, the path and castle pearly white like freshly fallen snow, the turrets reaching the clouds; which were dark grey compared by the bright whiteness of the castle. Then her visit to Absolem, a blue caterpillar who was smoking his pipe on top of an enormous mushroom. Then the Red Queen's throne room in Salazen Grum. Blood red walls surrounded her, and made her feel like a mouse trapped in an enormous cage. Then, at last, the table in the clearing, dark fog reached as far as you could look, which was only pierced by the bright yellow light coming from an old mill.

Her mind raced toward the table in the center of the clearing, first she saw Thackery throwing a pile of scones at Mallymkun, then Stayne smirking down at the duo.

And then, an image of Hatter flashed in front of her. In the entire scene, only he was clearly visible, the background surrounding him was all blurry. He was smiling adorably, the gap between his front teeth clearly visible, his hat slightly askew on his bright orange hair and his pale skin shining in the soft light.

Alice thought she was going to melt. The image was so genuine, Alice reached out and tried to grab him with her mind. But was rudely reminded he was gone; in another reality.

She fell down onto her knees and buried her face in her hands. She sobbed softly still desperately hoping the pain would vanish.

After several moments, she looked up when a branch snapped in front of her. She immediately fell silent and watched the source of the sound cautiously.

She stood up. With puffy eyes and limited sight, she walked toward the bush. She looked behind it, and to her relief, she saw it was just a rabbit. A white rabbit. It looked just like McTwisp, except this rabbit wasn't wearing clothes.

The relief was replaced by a fresh wave of pain. She wasn't sure if she would survive another reminder to Wonderland.

It looked up and watched her curiously, sniffed and then hopped away. Alice watched it while taking a deep breath. She knew she shouldn't take any longer to return to the gazebo if it still existed. _Maybe a hundred years have passed,_ she thought, trying to take her mind off Wonderland. She sighed and walked back to the gazebo.

When she arrived, everyone was still there. And to her even greater delight, no time had seemed to pass at all.

She watched the crowd from a distance and scanned the faces until she finally found Hamish's. He still stood under the gazebo talking to some rich girls.

Everyone seemed to be having very important conversations because, when Alice walked into the open, no one seemed to notice her return.

She silently ticked on his shoulder and quickly held a finger to her lips when he spun around. She beckoned him to follow her. He excused himself to the girls who he had been talking to and followed Alice.

They walked into the garden. Alice recognized the path with the white roses at once, and felt the sadness return and fought it gingerly so Hamish wouldn't notice.

It was odd to think back, because when she was walking on the exact same spot with Mrs. Ascot, she still thought Wonderland was just a figment of her imagination, and to her, a few days had passed, to them just a few hours.

She shook her head to get rid of the disturbing thoughts as she heard Hamish talking. ''What happened to you?'' he asked examining her with wide eyes. ''That's not important,'' she replied curtly.

''So, why did you take me here? Couldn't you say yes in front of all those people?'' he asked smirking.

Alice watched him with wide eyes. ''You assumed I was going to say yes?'' she asked unbelievably.

Hamish chuckled. ''Well, you see, I'm a lord, and I'm handsome as hell,'' he said, grinning.

''Well, if you say it like that,'' she said thoughtfully. ''You're still a bastard,'' Alice replied hotly.

She hated it when people just assumed things and made her decisions, it's her life. An emotion she hadn't felt for a long time slowly returned, anger.

She had felt fear, sadness, pain mental and physical even claustrophobic, but anger had been safely stored away in her mind.

The anger started itching inside, and she felt the adrenaline streaming through her veins. ''Alice! Calm down, calm down. Such language isn't proper to a woman like you,'' he said smirking.

Alice twitched. ''You know what? No! I'm not going to marry a man who thinks he's better than his wife! Just go back to those girls you were just talking to, and propose to them I'm sure they'll like your money and position.''

Her face grew hot and she had balled her fists, she was squeezing them so hard that her knuckles turned white.

To Alice's surprise, his grin didn't fade. ''Why are you still grinning!'' Alice shouted frustrated.

Hamish sighed and his smile broadened.''Because, my dear Alice. I don't want to marry you either. I love someone else,'' he said. His smirk turned into a gentle smile.

Alice was surprised; she had never seen a smile like that on his face, it was a smile of true happiness.

Alice quickly relaxed her muscles. ''Oh,'' she replied dumbfounded. She felt her cheeks light up, and grew very uncomfortable.

She had behaved like a barbarian, and now she realized it she was very ashamed.

''Well, I think we'll just go our own ways, then?'' Alice asked, not really having the courage to look up at Hamish, she forced herself to do it, though.

He nodded. ''Sorry I just lost my temper,'' Alice said apologetically. ''Can you tell my mother I'm waiting in the carriage?'' When he nodded, Alice quickly said, ''Thank you Hamish, and again, I'm sorry.'' He bowed curtly.

Alice quickly turned around and left the gardens.

She walked onto the pebble path that led to the enormous estate. Or at least she thought it was enormous until she had seen the castles and grounds in Wonderland.

She walked very slowly, listening to the crunching pebbles under her feet. She looked down and watched the small stones shift when she stepped on them.

Alice felt drops of water emerge from the sky. She looked up and saw the sky had darkened.

Not just because it was going to rain, but also because it was almost evening.

Alice looked in front of her again and watched the glinting drops fall down to the cold ground.

The water droplets were just like tears, caused by pain. Alice felt a tear of her own roll down her cheek.

After that, she stopped walking and burst into tears.

She couldn't hold it any longer, she felt terrible with her choice.

She wanted to throw up, but also lie on the cold ground and feel the pain slowly fill her body.

She hadn't thought about anything but Wonderland since her arrival. And this was its sequel.

 _It's all my fault. I don't even know what Hatter's like now. I don't even know how much pain I've caused him. Why am I so unbearably stupid?_ she thought angrily.

She fell down onto her knees and didn't even care that the sharp pebbles were ruining her dress and knees. She didn't care about anything anymore. It became too much. She couldn't even imagine how she was going to be able to spend days, maybe weeks feeling like this. It would kill her.

Alice had never crossed paths with heartbreak before. And that was all because she had never cared about men. But now she did, she understood how people could be broken inside.

Alice heard the small pebbles crunching behind her as they were stepped on.

''Alice, what are you doing here?'' Helen asked sternly.

Alice turned to look into her mother's eyes. Tears still streaming down her face like waterfalls. ''Oh, god,'' Helen breathed.

She crouched down next to her daughter and looked into her eyes. She knew that kind of face. Helen had looked like that for a very long time after her husband had passed away.

She gently pushed some strain hairs behind Alice's ear. ''Alice, what happened?'' she asked softly.

Alice felt panic emerge inside. _I can't tell my mother what happened, she'll think I'm completely bonkers,_ she thought panicky. She decided not to reply. It would be the safest thing to do at the moment.

Her mother looked down at her. She had no idea what to do, or how to soothe her daughter.

When Alice was small and had a nightmare, her father would go to her and soothe her. But now he was gone, and no one was able to help Alice.

Tears filled Helen's eyes at the sight of the pain her daughter was going through. The pain that she had been forced to endure for so long herself, and now it had been passed onto her daughter.

She didn't want her daughter to go through the same pain she had. They sat there for some time, both crying, both not knowing what to do. Helen embraced her daughter and tried to soothe her.

''Thank you,'' Alice whispered hoarsely. She squeezed her eyes shut, in the hope it would stop the pain. But it didn't, she could close her eyes to things she didn't want to see, but she couldn't close her heart to things she didn't want to feel.

''Let's get you out of the rain,'' Helen said softly.

She led Alice to the carriage and held the door open. Alice didn't move, she didn't want to go home. That would mean she wouldn't be able to get back to Wonderland.

''Alice dear, what are you waiting for?'' Helen asked. Alice decided to improvise. ''I'm sorry mother. I can't go back with you,'' she said staring blankly in front of her. ''I'd like to go my own way, write my own story. I want to start living, and that's not possible if I'm not going to live on myself.'' Alice turned to look at her mother.

''Where will you go?'' Helen asked stunned. ''I'll stay here at the Ascot's estate. I heard they're renting rooms,'' Alice explained pointing at the building.

''I'll find a job, and let you know when I'm leaving this place,'' she said to her mother before she could reply. Alice dearly hoped her mother would approve to her idea. If she didn't, there would be no chance to return to her dream world.

''Alright.'' Helen sighed. Alice felt a flood of relief wash over her, she wasn't cut off from her only chance to reach Wonderland.

''But you'll have to tell me literally everything when you come and visit sometime,'' she said to Alice with a stern look. ''I will.'' She paused. ''You should get back to the carriage before you're soaked,'' Alice said realizing it was still raining.

Alice stepped out of the way and helped her mother into the small space.

They hugged in farewell; Helen gently patted Alice's head. ''Be safe my little girl,'' she whispered closing her eyes.

When they parted, Alice waited for her mother to settle down, then closed the carriage door.

Immediately after it closed the horses started moving. The gravel crackled loudly as their hooves and the small stones met. Alice waved at the carriage until it was out of sight.

Alice waited a few more moments, unsure of what to do next.

She looked around and saw just one or two stray carriages on the grass. She looked around, but everyone had already left. _Time has gone by quickly_ , she thought, smiling.

The droplets that still fell from the dark sky above were decreasing in size and less cold.

She glanced up at the clouds and saw them slowly driving apart and revealing a full moon.

Alice quickly walked to the house and climbed the stone steps. They were slippery after the short shower, but Alice managed to find grip with her heels.

She quickly walked toward the doors.

The building was completely made out of a brownish stone, except the roof. The roof was- compared to the rest of the house- light grey. The windows were bright white and the panes were cleaned so well, you could see your reflection in it.

In some of the rooms was the light turned on, which send a dim yellow light through the window onto the lawn.

The double door in front of her was- just like the windows- bright white with eight panes each.

Alice looked through the window, there was nobody in the hall. So she softly knocked against one of the panes in the door and stepped back.

She waited patiently, shivering when a cold breeze flew by.

After several moments a man with neat gray hair and a bushy mustache came walking into the huge hall.

He looked at the person through the small panes. When he recognized who it was, he quickly pulled the door open and warmly greeted her.

''Alice! Where do I owe such a lovely surprise,'' he said delightedly.

''Good evening Lord Ascot,'' Alice replied politely. She wasn't really in the mood for a happy conversation so she was rather straight to the point. ''I heard you're renting rooms,''

''Yes, we do. Come in, come in,'' he said cheerfully. Lord Ascot had always been a man with whom you could throw a joke here or there, but he was too happy even for his doing, especially after Alice had decided not to marry his son.

Alice watched him with a suspicious mind, though tried not to show it on her face.

When the door had closed behind her, she wheeled around. ''Sir, can I ask you a question?'' she asked uncomfortably.

He looked up. ''Of course, ask away.'' His too cheerful expression turned into an ordinary, gentle smile.

Alice started a bit uncomfortably, ''Why are you so happy?'' She paused, carefully choosing her words. When his expression didn't change, and the smile stood put, she started to grow more confident. ''I just denied Hamish's proposal, so I'm sorry to say this, but I'm a bit confused.''

She watched him a bit concerned when he sighed dreamily. _That's the reply I expected least of all_ , she thought surprised.

''You know,'' Lord Ascot started. ''Hamish had always been a bit...distant.'' He didn't look at Alice but somewhere about a few feet to her right, though his expression did not change.

''What? I've never noticed that'' Alice interrupted. ''No, but that's because it was between me and him,'' Lord Ascot replied. ''Hamish and I never had real moments together in his childhood, I always had to work, or I was too tired because of my physical conditions when he was a child,'' he paused.

Alice didn't know where this story was going. Despite it didn't sound like a really happy story, Lord Ascot's smile still didn't fade. ''So, Hamish and I never spent much time together. He was always with his mother, who is a bit, stern.''

Alice glanced around when she thought she saw something in the corner of her eye. When she didn't see anything, she quickly regained her focus.

Lord Ascot didn't notice- or just ignore, which, Alice didn't know- and continued telling his story.

''She taught him everything about courting and socializing. But in her way,'' he said slowly. ''She had taught him, he should only marry a woman who's worth his efforts.''

Alice blushed but tried to hide it. ''He had lived by her rules since his birth, and I thought he would never be fit enough to escape them and make his own decisions.'' His smile broadened as he looked up at Alice.

''Alice, today he proved me wrong. Today he told the crowd he was going to marry out of true love.'' His face glittered. ''After he returned to the gazebo, he proposed to the baker's eldest daughter who said yes!''

Alice started to understand his joy. Hamish had always seemed like a man who was completely heartless. He had always behaved like he only cared about his possessions and tried to look like he was a responsible man.

He had always been too serious. But now, it seemed like he did have a heart, and knew how to use it too.

''If his love for the baker's daughter was strong enough to set him up against his mother, it must be something very special.''

Lord Ascot was a good man and always preferred to be a person who wasn't intimidating and was probably very happy his son didn't turn out like his wife, which Alice could completely understand.

She quickly smiled when Lord Ascot had watched her for several moments.

''Let's find you a room,'' he said when she looked at him. He watched her for several more moments and added considerably, ''And a new dress." He turned around and climbed the enormous staircase.

When they reached the landing, Alice quickly looked around into the two corridors. Her gaze slithered across the doors. There was nothing special about them.

But then, Alice noticed something in the corner of her eye. She turned to examine the object and found another door. But this door was different. The wood was smooth and had all kinds of beautiful carvings.

She walked toward it and let her hand slide along the timber. The carvings ran along the edges and gave it a beautiful finish.

''This is a nice piece of workmanship, Lord Ascot,'' she said turning around.

Lord Ascot came walking toward her with his hands on his back. ''That's right. It's our finest room, so it deserves the finest quality.'' He looked down at Alice, then suddenly threw the door open.

She ripped her gaze off Lord Ascot and looked into the revealed room.

Her jaw dropped when she looked through the hole of the door.

She stepped into the room and looked around, gaping at everything. She didn't know what to look at first.

The room was beautiful, the walls were covered with paintings, or actually the entire wall was a painting. A beautiful forest was depicted on them. A painted sun peeked out above the trees and sent a beautiful color palette up in the sky.

Birds soared over the trees, rabbits were running through a field and if she looked with narrowed eyes, she noticed a deer standing in the shadow of the trees.

Alice knew it was just a painting, but to her, it was just like she was in a real forest everything seemed to come alive.

The colors of the drawn sun shone halfway to the ceiling, the rest was already turning dark blue, small stars popped out here and there.

Alice watched it mesmerized with a dropped jaw. ''It's beautiful isn't it?'' Lord Ascot asked standing next to her.

She turned to him and nodded slightly. She couldn't get herself to talk, she was too stunned by the sudden beauty.

 _Why is it affecting me this badly?_ she thought, turning back to the painted forest.

''I think this room will be just the one for you,'' he said smiling and turning to the wall.

Alice was roughly pulled from her trance, ''What?'' she asked unbelievably. ''I can't afford this.'' She beckoned around.

Lord Ascot chuckled and calmed her down. ''We'll discuss that in the morning over breakfast,'' he said still smiling. ''Don't worry, it'll be fine.''

He turned around and walked toward the open door. ''Oh,'' he said before he left. ''There's a new dress in the closet,'' he said pointing at a dark wooden wardrobe. ''Might come in handy.'' He grinned, then left the room.

Alice stunned watched the closed door. ''I'll never be able to afford this room,'' she muttered again looking around.

She quickly changed into the new dress and examined the room again. There were different ordinary objects. A looking glass, a bed, a sink, a small desk and a wooden chair.

But there was one thing she had overlooked. That was an entrance to a balcony.

The pillars where bright white, so was the balcony itself. It was made of marble and gleamed in the faint moonlight.

She quickly walked toward it and looked outside. The sun and its warm light had completely vanished. The sky was dark blue and small but bright stars popped out. The grounds were silent and long shadows were cast across the grass.

Despite the cold shower, the grounds looked completely dry.

She looked into the distance in the hope she could see the forest from the balcony. But unfortunately, the enormous hedges stood in the way, the only thing she could see were the green treetops, the rest was shielded by the enormous hedge.

She sighed and leaned against the wall next to the entrance. She closed her eyes and felt the soft and cozy evening breeze brush her skin. Her hair fluttered in the soft wind.

''What am I going to do?'' she asked herself with closed eyes. She wasn't completely sure if she had made the right decision, but this is what her heart gave in so she supposed it must've been the right thing to do.

Though she didn't feel relieved anymore. That was only a brief emotion, now it had completely vanished and felt as if it had never come to pass.

''I know I can't just leave. It'll be too irresponsible,'' she said frustrated. She had to rebuild her life, make things right.

 _But how?_ she thought frustrated. _How can I return to my normal life when I know Wonderland isn't a dream?_

She opened her eyes and looked at the moon. ''I wish everything was different. I wish I could just go there whenever I wanted.''

She slid down against the wall until she sat on the cold marble. It was dry but cold.

''I don't even know if the rabbit hole still works,'' she whispered when the terrible thought popped into her head. ''What if I can't return at all?''

She felt panic root inside her. Her breath accelerated and became unequal. ''Then I can't return, and I promised!''

She sprang up and desperately craned her neck. She wanted to see the tree, but to her great annoyance, it was still shielded by the hedge.

She climbed onto the balustrade and tried to look over it. She caught a glimpse of the tree but wasn't sure if it was 'the' tree. It could be any tree, it didn't bore some kind of mark you could recognize it by.

She looked at the surrounding trees, but there wasn't any other like the one she saw. So she assumed that was 'the' tree.

But before she could examine it properly, she slipped on the balustrade and fell backward.

She landed on her back, flat against the cold marble. ''Ouch!'' Her right arm slammed into the cold stone and started to sting and burn right away.

She blinked and screwed her face in pain as she tried to move.

 _Why does this have to happen now?_ she thought bitterly.

Her eyes burned with tears and her wrist didn't stop stinging. She pushed herself upright with her good hand and examined her injured one.

A thick stream of blood emerged from her knuckles and trickled down her wrist.

She tried to make a fist but was held back by the pain in her wrist. Her eyes prickled with tears again and sent some fresh ones down her cheek.

She wrapped her hand around her hurt wrist and stood up carefully.

Her sight became a big blur of different dark colors. She shook her head to regain her sight and stumbled into the room.

She looked around and quickly walked to the sink. She put her hand under a cold stream of water.

She gritted her teeth as her wrist and the cold water met. Her fingers trembled as the cold water washed away the blood.

When her hand was clean, she examined the small wounds on her knuckles. It wasn't just her knuckles that were injured.

She noticed a rather big and sharp piece of stone stuck in her finger just above her knuckle. She watched it and examined the wound underneath.

''Tweezers, tweezers,'' she whispered looking around. She slowly walked toward the desk and opened one of the drawers. Fortunately for her, a small pair of shining tweezers lay on the dark wood.

She quickly took it and lit a lamp. She held her finger close to the lamp so the light would flood it and she wouldn't make the wound worse by pushing the stone deeper.

She focused and forced her hand to stop trembling. Then she carefully removed the white stone.

And to her delight, it came out whole and didn't crumble into a million pieces. She examined it; it was soaked with blood and had nasty sharp edges. She walked outside and threw it away.

Then she quickly washed the blood off the tweezers and put them back in the drawer. She examined her hand again. The wounds didn't stop bleeding, she had to put something around it to suck up the blood.

She looked around and her eye fell on her ragged dress. She quickly walked toward it and ripped it apart. She tried to make as little sound as possible, she didn't want to wake other people; if they weren't already woken by her fall.

''That should do,'' she whispered when she had wrapped her hand in a rag of her dress. It kept her hand from losing much blood, but it didn't solve the problem of her wrist.

''I'll figure something out in the morning,'' she thought wearily. She yawned and lay down on the soft bed. She looked up at the ceiling and felt a tear squeeze through the corner of her eye.

 _This is so weird,_ she thought, allowing the tear to roll where it liked. _This morning I was fighting the Jabberwocky, and now I'm here again. It makes absolutely no sense at all._ She rolled onto her side, careful not to hurt her wrist, she relaxed and closed her eyes.

 _I will never understand all of this,_ she thought before she lost consciousness, and drifted off into a deep slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

**12-18-2018- Author's note: Second chapter rewritten! I hope you** **'ll** **enjoy it.**

 **Chapter II**

Alice woke up with a disturbing pressure on her back.

She grunted and slowly opened her eyes. She squinted so they could adjust to the sudden brightness.

She had a heavy headache and her body was sore.

''How could I be so stupid to climb that balustrade?'' she whispered shifting carefully trying not to hurt herself.

She clenched her teeth as she moved her right arm. She slowly sat up, but the pain rushed through her spine.

''Why won't it stop?'' she asked frustrated. She felt tears emerging from her eyes, and squeezed them tightly shut when she tried to stand up.

 _Come on, Alice! Just stand up!_ she urged herself.

Despite the pain, she stood up but immediately regretted it. Her ribs felt smashed and the rest of her body was sore.

She tried to walk to the sink, but she couldn't take more than baby-steps. It felt as if her legs had rooted into the ground. ''Come on,'' she muttered to her feet. When they didn't do anything despite her hard attempts, she became frustrated. ''Come on!'' she shouted.

She ignored the pain and walked to the sink.

She examined her face in the mirror that hung above it. _I'm a mess,_ she thought looking at her reflection. She looked tired and her hair was tangled. She rubbed her eyes and looked again.

 _I can't go outside like this_ , she thought. Her attention was drawn to her injured hand with a rag bound tightly around it. She looked at it in awe.

Her hand hurt and stung and she was afraid of what might be revealed when she removed the rag.

She watched it hesitant, then decided to do it quick. She closed her eyes inhaled, and removed the rag.

She gasped when she saw her hand. The wounds hadn't healed well, here and there stray crusts covered her hand. The wounds on her knuckles started bleeding again, but not as bad as the night before.

She watched it with agony, and was afraid something might be terribly wrong with it.

She ripped her gaze off the hand, and forced herself to go downstairs. It took her some time, and above all perseverance, because her wrist and back weren't very gentle.

She grunted many times on the way, but finally after what felt like eternity, she reached the dining room where the men from the Ascot family sat, eating.

Lord Ascot looked up when she hobbled into the room. At first sight he smiled, but when he realized something was wrong his smile immediately changed into a concerned expression. ''Alice?''

He stood up and walked toward her. ''What happened?''

Alice looked up, her cheeks completely covered by fresh tears and her skin deadly pale. ''I fell,'' she forced herself to say through clenched teeth.

It hurt when she did anything. Even talk. ''From...balustrade...balcony.''

She closed her eyes and breathed heavily, though it didn't help, it only send a fresh wave of pain through her body.

Every word took an enormous amount of energy.

''You must lay down,'' he said immediately. He led her to the living room, and helped her onto the couch. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as she felt the cushions touch her back.

When she was settled, she closed her eyes and tried to ignore the pain, but it was hurting too badly.

She tried to shift but grunted uncomfortably, and after a few useless attempts, gave up.

She lay back down and watched the Ascot's talk in the dining room. Lord Ascot was taking his coat from the coat rack and quickly put it on. ''I'm going to get a doctor, take care of her.'' He walked to the door and opened it. ''Gently!'' he shouted into the house before he closed the door behind him.

She tried to get some sleep in the time Lord Ascot was away, but she couldn't get herself to it, the pain was too overpowering.

She tried to shift again, but her back felt raw as if it was completely burned.

After some time, Hamish came walking toward her with a tray of food and a glass of water.

He gently put it next to the couch and handed her some food. ''Here,'' he offered. She carefully took it and put it in her mouth. ''Thank...you...''

She forced herself to thank him, even though he said she shouldn't talk anymore.

Hamish looked at the ground. ''Actually, I am the one whom should thank you,'' he said softly. Alice watched him with curiosity. ''I mean, if you hadn't cleared my sight I would still live how my mother wanted,'' he said looking at the dining room.

''And if I would've done that, I wouldn't have been able to propose to Glinda.'' He looked back at Alice and smiled. ''So, thank you.''

Alice didn't want to talk anymore, so she just smiled back in reply.

They sat there for some time, Hamish handing Alice food and she listening to his stories.

Hamish had changed. At first he was just some kind of annoying freak. But now, he was kind, generous and helpful. She was glad he had changed, especially because he would go his own way now, just like she would.

Suddenly the door opened and Lord Ascot entered with a bald man on his heels. ''I'm back,'' he shouted in the house. ''We're here, dad!'' Hamish shouted to the hall.

The duo entered the room and walked toward Alice. The doctor kneeled in front of the couch so he faced Alice. He was middle aged and had a kind expression.

''I'm doctor Haynes,'' he said. ''What happened?'' he asked opening his suitcase. Alice tried to speak but clenched her teeth instead. The doctor looked up at Lord Ascot who started explaining. The doctor nodded a few times, and then turned to Alice again.

''Where does it hurt?'' he asked. Alice stuck out her hurt arm and tried to ignore the pain it caused. Doctor Haynes examined it closely and did some tests.

Finally after what felt like eternal torture he said, ''It's just bruised. Nothing to worry about.'' He closed his suitcase again. ''But those are mean wounds. I will treat and bandage them if you let me,'' he said to Alice. She looked at him with a smile. She would do anything to take away the pain she felt now.

Haynes reopened his bag and took out a pair of scissors and bandages. He carefully bandaged Alice's hand. She often grunted and clenched her teeth, but when he was done her hand did feel better, as if it were protected.

''About the wrist, I can prevent it from hurting. Or at least, hurt less than it does now.'' Alice abruptly nodded but regretted it immediately because it sent a fresh wave of pain through her back, she gasped when the pain flashed through her body. Haynes looked at her with a questioning expression.

''My...back…'' Alice breathed through clenched teeth. Haynes stood up and walked to the back of the couch. He put his hand on her back. She immediately felt a fresh wave of pain flood in her body. ''When did this happen?'' Haynes asked.

''Yesterday...night...'' Alice replied. Haynes shook his head. ''You shouldn't have waited so long. It doesn't look good,'' he said. ''I suggest you rest for a while until your back is completely recovered and healed. If you fall again, it can do some permanent damage.'' He packed his suitcase, and closed it. ''How...long…'' Alice breathed desperately. ''I'd say about two weeks, maybe three,'' he replied thoughtfully.

Alice closed her eyes, as new tears tried to escape her eyes.

She couldn't stay that long away from Wonderland, _if a few days there, were a few minutes here, who knows how much time would go by in three weeks? Maybe a year, or maybe even a decade,_ she thought miserably.

When the doctor had left the house, Lord Ascot proposed to help her back to her room.

So the next half hour, they tried to get Alice back upstairs without hurting her.

By the time they got to her room, her entire body ached and felt sore. They carefully helped her back in bed and lie comfortably. ''Thank…'' Alice started but was interrupted by Hamish. ''I said you shouldn't talk. It hurts you,'' he said sternly, though he was smiling gently.

She smiled in return. ''If you need anything you can pull that string, it'll send a signal to the kitchen.'' He pointed at a string next to her bed.

Alice nodded curtly trying not to hurt herself, but nothing seemed to be that easy.

Hamish and Lord Ascot left the room.

Alice looked through the balcony entrance at the bright sun. She only saw green and the light from the sun that peeked over it, but she didn't mind. She loved the green leaves and forests, it calmed her and helped her regain focus when needed.

 _Why does it hurt so much?_ she thought desperately as she tried to roll onto her side.

She struggled for several moments, and finally managed to roll onto her side. Pain erupted inside her body and she groaned softly. She put her injured arm out of any possible ways of harm, and closed her eyes. She slowly drifted off into a light slumber.

* * *

''Alice! Help me!'' A desperate cry rung through the room.

Alice slowly opened her eyes, trying to understand what was happening. She blinked a few times, then held her eyes open, but there wasn't any difference in what she saw with her eyes open and closed. Everything around her was pitch black. She couldn't see anything, not even her own feet.

''Alice! Please!'' the voice begged from a distance. Alice turned to the source of the sound, but couldn't see anything.

Alice started to panic. ''Why can't I see anything? Why is everything so dark?'' she shouted into the darkness.

''Help!'' The voice grew more and more desperate. Alice wanted to help the person, but she wasn't even able to help herself.

''Alice, why did you take so long to return?''

She froze. To her horror she recognized the voice, it contained a slight lisp.

''Oh, no!'' she whispered to herself. ''Please, Alice!''

It was unmistakably his voice.

''Tarrant! Where are you!'' Alice yelled into the darkness. She still couldn't see anything, her eyes didn't adjust to the darkness and it frustrated her.

''Alice, why?'' Tarrant asked sadly.

Alice looked around wildly. ''What do you mean?'' she replied. She stopped turning and looked down, concentrating on what he said.

''Why have you been gone for so long?'' he whispered. Alice could hear his voice shake. ''I-I had to do some things. You know that, and I couldn't come earlier, '' she whispered back reminded of her injuries, and feeling her eyes burn with tears.

''Tarrant, the last words you said to me before I left Wonderland. I want you to know, I love you too,'' she said, feeling tears stream down her face like waterfalls.

Alice fell onto her knees on a ground she couldn't see, and buried her face in her hands and sobbed softly.

''I know Alice. I know,'' Tarrant whispered, his voice seemed closer.

Alice quickly looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up, right into those bright bluish, green eyes. The Hatter bore a smile which exposed the gap between his front teeth, his face as pale as usual, and his hat slightly askew on his bright orange hair.

''I love you too, Alice,'' he said shaky again. Alice noticed a tear roll down his cheek. ''I want you to know, no matter what happens, I will always love you,'' Tarrant said.

He kneeled down in front of her, took her hands in his, and leaned forward.

Alice closed her eyes, as she felt his soft lips meeting hers. She felt one of his tears brush her own cheek.

She enjoyed his touch and warmth. But to her horror, she felt him fading away. She opened her eyes, and saw his body slowly vanishing. She tried to grab him, but her hands went right through him.

''Tarrant! Don't go! Please!'' Alice begged him through heavy sobs.

Only his head was barely visible now, the rest of his body had faded away. ''Remember, Alice,'' he said softly. ''I will always love you,''

''No! Tarrant, don't go!'' Alice screamed, but it was too late. His face had faded away into the darkness. Alice felt tears stream down her face like waterfalls.

Suddenly she felt sick, and wanted to throw up. But instead, she lay down on the ground, and allowed the tears to silently slide down her cheeks, onto the invisible ground.

* * *

''Tarrant!'' she shouted when she woke up.

Alice quickly opened her eyes. And found herself looking up at the painted ceiling. Her back was sore and hurt terribly and her hand felt crushed.

She closed her eyes again and sighed. ''Right.'' She opened them again and looked through the balcony entrance.

She saw the sun was already going down, there was only a small part of its top visible over the green bed of leaves.

She shifted so she would lay a bit more comfortable, but realized she had a raw throat from her shout.

She tried to get up and walk to the sink, but her back was hurting too badly. She looked hesitant at the rope that hung next to her bed, but decided not to bother them with her 'problem'.

Instead she tried again and this time managed to get up and sit on the edge of the bed. She gritted her teeth in pain, but forced herself to stand up. She shuffled toward the sink, and drank a few gulps. Then returned to her bed.

When she lay under the covers again, she started thinking about her dream.

 _A call for help, nothing but darkness, and an accusation that I had been gone for too long,_ she thought. _I think Wonderland needs me._

 _No, I know Wonderland needs me._ She almost forgot about her conditions and had almost jumped out of bed and run down the stairs to the tree.

She felt terrible now. She knew people needed her help, and she was powerless to do anything.

 _This is real torture,_ she thought angrily.

After some time, the door opened and Hamish entered the room. ''I've got your dinner.''

Alice quickly sat upright, despite her pain, she didn't want to look weak.

Hamish put the tray in her lap. ''Bon appetit,'' he said before he left the room again. Alice wasn't hungry at all, but she forced herself to eat at least a few bites.

Swallowing hurt, but she ignored it. When she felt sick of the food, she put the tray back on the ground, and lay back down.

She stared at the ceiling. It troubled her deeply to know Wonderland was in danger and she couldn't do anything to help. After a few frustrated moments, she dozed off into a troubled sleep.

* * *

When she woke again the room was flooded with sunlight. The sun shone exactly through the gap of the balcony entrance and onto her face.

She blinked a few times, but then she realized her back hurt less than before her nap.

''How is that even possible?'' she asked sitting upright. She felt her throat and didn't understand how she was able to talk again without harming herself. ''Alice?'' a voice next to her asked.

Alice shot around to the source of the sound. Lord Ascot sat on the wooden chair at the desk. He watched her with tired eyes.

''You've finally woken, good heavens.'' He closed his eyes and sighed in relief. Alice watched him surprised. ''What do you mean?'' she asked.

Lord Ascot opened his eyes and looked at her. ''Alice,'' he started. ''You have been asleep for three days.''

Alice watched him dumbfounded. ''T-three days?'' she asked miserably. She didn't realize she had said it out loud. ''Yes, three days.''

He stood up and immediately filled a glass with water from the sink and handed it to Alice. ''You have been muttering in your sleep too,'' he said as Alice took the glass.

''Like what?'' she asked cautiously. She hoped so badly she hadn't said anything about Wonderland.

''I don't know, it was more gibberish than real talk. We couldn't understand what you said,'' Lord Ascot replied.

Alice relaxed her muscles and sighed in relief. She quickly drank some water then handed the glass back to Lord Ascot. ''Can I go outside now?'' she asked. ''I'm feeling better, and I'm less sore,'' she said.

Lord Ascot eyed her suspiciously. ''Why do you want to go outside so badly?'' he asked turning around to put the glass back in its place. ''I don't know,'' Alice replied truthfully.

Lord Ascot returned and said, ''I'm sorry, Alice. I can't let you go outside, the doctor said you should rest for at least two weeks.''

He turned around and walked to the door. ''By the way,'' he turned around. ''There's someone here for you.'' He opened the door and left the room. Again, Alice was alone.

She was angry with Lord Ascot because he wouldn't let her outside, now she couldn't slip away and descend down the rabbit hole.

But after some time, she realized it wasn't his fault at all, it was hers. _I was stupid enough to go climb that slippery balustrade,_ she thought angrily. ''Why am I so stupid?'' she shouted in frustration.

The door opened and her mother stormed into the room. ''Alice!''

She dashed toward the bed and kneeled next to it. Alice wanted to scream inside, the chance that her mother would take her back home was bigger than anything.

''Are you alright?'' She embraced her daughter which sent another flash of sharp pain through her back, she gasped. ''I'm sorry.''

Her mother retreated and examined her. ''Lord Ascot contacted me you were hurt, I came right away. But when I arrived, you were asleep,'' she said. ''That was three days ago. I've been here since then.''

She watched her daughter with concern. ''I guess you're going to take me home now?'' Alice asked softly. A lump formed in her throat and her eyes burned with tears.

Helen watched her for several moments. ''No,'' she said finally.

Alice looked up. ''No?'' she repeated confused. ''What do you mean?'' she asked turning to her mother.

''Exactly what I just said, no.'' Alice watched her mother suspiciously. ''Are you feeling alright?'' she asked concerned after several moments.

Helen rolled her eyes exaggerated. ''I think you're old enough to take care of yourself,'' she said reasonably.

Alice raised an eyebrow. ''I'm serious,'' Helen said. ''You're old enough, and this was your choice. I'm not going to treat you like a child anymore. Even though you're still a child to me. I must accept you've grown up and ready to face your own troubles and difficulties.''

A grin appeared on Alice's face as a flood of relief washed over her. ''Thank you, mother,'' she said softly.

After a few hours her mother left the estate and set home. Alice was still deeply troubled by the dream she had had, and she had left Wonderland unprotected for who knows how long.

When the evening neared she grew very anxious. She had been thinking about the possible dangers and happenings that could've taken place in Wonderland while she was absent. The next more unpleasant than the last.

The heavy burden of guilt started to grow inside her heart and weighed on her conscience.

I _have to return!_ she thought panicky against noon. ''I hate to ignore a doctor's advice, but I'm going to Wonderland,'' she whispered determined. \

She waited for the evening to fall, and the sun would've been consumed by the horizon.

Then she quickly left her bed and walked to the sink. She splashed some water onto her face and looked at her reflection. ''I'm still a mess,'' she muttered grinning.

She shook her head and started brushing her hair.

When she was done she walked to the door. She put her hand on the door knob, and threw one last glance at the stunning room. ''I'm sorry mother,'' she whispered. ''But I have to do this.'' Then, she opened the door and disappeared into the dark hall.

She carefully closed the door behind her, and tiptoed to the huge staircase. She went down the stairs as careful as possible, she was granting extra caution not to fall again, to avoid any permanent damage.

She walked to the doors and looked around, she watched the hall for a moment. She wanted to be sure this was the right thing to do. ''I promised.'' she said to herself.

And with that, she opened the doors, and went outside. Ready to return to her Wonderland.

She crept as silent and careful as she could across the grounds, her back started stinging softly and her wrist burning.

She was almost there, just a few feet left. She could hear her heartbeat pierce the silence of the night.

When she had reached the tree, she walked around it to find the hole. Finally after what felt like a century, she thought she had found it. But the darkness was deceiving her sight, and it was just a random hole in the ground with a dead end.

She continued her search, and finally when she narrowed her eyes to look, ''Yes, Here it is,'' she whispered. She carefully kneeled next to it, and glanced around at the estate. ''I'm sorry, I have to do this,'' she whispered softly. She closed her eyes and sighed.

She turned to look at the rabbit hole again, and dropped into it.

She felt the adrenaline stream through her veins and the wind rush past her, her hair fluttered in the sudden force of the dashing wind.

The trip down the rabbit hole went exactly the same as last time.

She could see the bottom and knew she would fall through it. Alice covered her head with her hands in order to protect her face, but she had forgotten about her wrist and back, but when the terrible thought came to her, it was already too late.

She slammed right through the bottom and a fresh wave of pain flashed through her entire body. She clenched her teeth, but it was to no avail and she slammed another time into the ground, but this time she didn't break through it.

She screwed her face in pain because her whole body felt broken. She slowly opened her eyes and lay there motionless for some time. She groaned and pushed herself up. ''I forgot about that,'' she said rubbing her back.

She was a bit confused when she saw her hair standing upright, but then remembered she was standing on the ceiling.

She jumped as the gravity pulled her down to the real ground, where she fell another time onto the ground and her body became even sorer.

She clenched her teeth, and pushed herself onto her side. She closed her eyes and sighed dramatically. ''That's something I shouldn't forget again,'' she said shifting painfully.

She pushed herself up and looked around. Her eye fell on the wooden table and remembered what she had to do. ''Right, I have to drink the pishsalver to get through the door. But first...''

She stumbled to the table, her hand tightly pushed to her side. She quickly took a key that lay on top of it, and held it tight in her hand.

Then she took the bottle with the note that said, 'Drink me', and quickly pulled off the cork and drank some of the liquid.

She felt she became smaller, and smaller, and smaller. The walls around her shot up into the height, and the floor closed in on her. She looked at the door, and saw she was almost small enough to fit through it.

She set off right away when she noticed she had stopped shrinking.

She quickly pushed the key into the keyhole, and turned it. Alice pushed when she heard a soft click. The door swung inwards. She quickly went through the door, and found herself in the most wonderful place of the universe.

She recognized it at once, the bright colors smiling at her and the weird creatures that must've been bugs flew past her. The rocking horse hobbled in front of her, as it was chased by an enormous dragonfly, and in the distance she could see the talking flowers and a little bit further she could see the forest that lay between the old mill and here.

''I have done it,'' she said with a sigh though she smiled broadly.

She quickly walked down the small staircase, and looked around. Despite the fact she recognized it at once, something seemed off about it, just like she had expected. There was a different ambience than the last time she had been there. A bit tenser.

''Well, well, well. If it isn't our little heroine,'' a deep voice said behind her.

She froze, and slowly let go of her side. ''No,'' she said her eyes widening. ''It can't be.''

She felt a cold sweep of air embrace her back. ''You were banished,'' Alice said not turning around. ''Well, a year or two of banishment seemed enough to me,'' the voice said.

The word 'year' struck her like a bomb. She shot around, and clenched her teeth in pain.

About twenty feet away from her stood the banished knave, Ilosovic Stayne. He took a step closer. ''Get away from me!'' Alice yelled at him stumbling backwards.

She kept hurting herself with her stupid actions. She quickly stood up, and watched him in agony. ''Well I like the way you greet people, my dear Alice,'' he said smirking. ''It's a pity you've lost your largeness though, I liked you better that way.''

He walked in small steps toward her. ''But that can be solved,'' he whispered grinning.

Alice did the first thing her senses told her to do, run. Her side was loaded with pressure and her breath became uneven. She tried to hold on.

Bolts of pain erupted in her back and wrist. She ran as quickly as she could with her injuries. Stayne laughed, and then set off after her.

''Leave me alone, Creep!'' Alice screamed out of breath though she knew it wouldn't help and she would only hurt herself.

Alice knew he was going to catch up with her if she wouldn't think of something.

She quickly kicked off her heels, it was way easier to run without, injuries or not. She knew she couldn't run forever, her body would collapse if she wouldn't do something that changed her position.

She quickly looked around, in the hope she could use something to escape.

She was a bit faster without her heels, but the pressure on her side increased.

As she looked around desperately, tears trickling down her head, she noticed a large hedge and quickly sprang into it in the hope she could shake him off.

She heard his footsteps cease.

She kept running, even though the pain and pressure became unbearable. She tried to keep her breath even but that was a lost case. When she had reached the end of the hedge she ran through the flower field she had arrived in.

''Alice!'' one of the flowers said surprised.

Alice didn't respond, and she didn't care how rude that would be. She just kept running and desperately hoped she wouldn't die in pain because it felt like she had reached her limits.

She managed to run further, despite the exhausting pain in her body. She ran onto the path again, and recognized the spot where she had met Tweedledee, Tweedledum, McTwisp, Mallymkun and the Dodo bird.

She quickly took the turn which they had taken when they took Alice to Absolem, and quickly ran under the enormous mushrooms where she had been chased by the Bandersnatch.

She ran until she came to the signs that said, 'Quest and Snud'. She breathed heavily trying to lean onto her knees, but couldn't reach them without frantically hurt her back.

She went down the path of the sign that said Snud. She looked around, and saw Stayne running down a remote path to avoid the sight of the flowers. She quickly looked back in front of her, and tried not to think about what would happen if Stayne managed to capture her.

So to make sure that wouldn't happen, she kept running as fast as she could.

She entered the forest and looked around. She recognized the trees, they grew into a spiral. She quickly looked ahead of her again. After several minutes of running, she could see a faint light emerging from a hole at the end of the path.

She had almost made it, she wanted to cheer, but it would hurt terribly if she would. She looked behind her, and saw Stayne running about forty yards behind her. His detour had been fatal to his advantages. She kept running, and didn't even look back anymore.

She entered the clearing. It was- just like before- filled with dark fog, and was only pierced by the faint light that emerged from the mill. She saw the table where her first Wonderlandish tea party had taken place.

She quickly ran to the old mill, when she reached the door, she banged against it desperately with both hands, even her injured hand, as hard as she could. She didn't stop until the door was opened.

But it wasn't the Hatter who was standing on the other side of the door, it was Thackery Earwicket the mad march hare.

''Alice!'' he said surprised. She didn't reply, she just ran through the gap between his legs into the house. ''What are you doing here?'' he asked confused closing the door.

Alice didn't reply, she didn't do anything but breathe heavily. She sat down on the floor and slowly lay down on her back.

Her lungs felt like they were crumbling apart, her body was sore, and her wrist prickled uncomfortably. She closed her eyes, and tried to get her breath equal again.

Thackery walked toward her, and watched her concerned. ''What happened to your hand?'' he asked crouching next to her.

She couldn't get herself to speak, her lungs were pressed flat and all the air had escaped, they needed time to replenish. She opened her eyes and tried to speak, but nothing seemed to work.

At last the pain had ceased enough to sit upright, talk and do everything else. ''First put me on the window sill,'' she demanded.

He watched her confusion showing on his face. ''Just, do it,'' she said impatiently.

He picked her up, and placed her on the windowsill. As she had hoped, Stayne didn't dare entering the clearing. He stood under the trees, dark shadows cast over his face.

''Quickly, look!'' she said to Thackery. But by the time he stood next to her and looked into the right direction, Stayne had vanished.

''Too late,'' she said glumly. ''He's gone.''

She turned around and sat down on the windowsill. ''Who is he?'' Thackery asked.

''Stayne of course!'' Alice said irritated. _This is why I had the dream, Wonderland really needs me._

''Stayne? But he is banished to the Outlands,'' he said. Alice ignored him and looked around.

''Why are you back?'' he asked turning around, and walking to the hearth. A fire was crackling merrily behind the iron bars that hold the logs. ''Well,'' Alice started. She sighed, and told him about her dream in detail, except the kiss.

Thackery turned away from the fire and walked to a cabinet and took two tea cups out of it.

''Where is Tarrant?'' Alice asked. ''He is at the White Queen's castle,'' Thackery replied.

''Why? Isn't this his house?'' Alice asked.

Thackery walked to the table and put down the cups. ''It was, until he decided he would move into the castle. It would be easier for him to make hats for the Queen that way. So when he left, he told me I could live here and keep the place clean,'' he said.

He took a kettle from the fire. ''Tea?'' he asked absentmindedly.

But he received no answer. ''Thackery?'' Alice whispered miserable. ''How long have I been gone?'' Alice asked. She dreaded Stayne wasn't exaggerating when he said 'a year or two'.

''About two years.'' he replied casually.

''Two years?!'' Alice yelled.

Startled, Thackery dropped the tea cups and they smashed into a million pieces when they hit the ground. He crouched and, grumbling, started collecting the shards.

''Thackery, I have to get to the castle. Now!'' Alice said urgently, the sudden emotions sent flashes of sharp pain through her body. She clenched her teeth while Thackery looked up.

Alice felt the pressure on her side increase and looked at him with a stern expression.

''Alright!'' Thackery said defeated. He dropped the shards, stood up and walked toward her. She felt guilt root inside her again. She shifted uncomfortably, and grabbed her side.

She was furious, not with Thackery, not with the Ascot's, not even with Stayne. She was furious with herself.

 _I had promised Tarrant to return quickly, and I took two years! How could I?_ _I should've noted that time goes by much faster here!_ she thought furiously.

She wanted to hit herself.

Thackery raised her onto his shoulder and opened the door. ''Are you sure?'' he asked Alice before walking into the open. ''I'm sure.'' Alice said coldly.

Thackery nodded curtly, and set off into the darkness of the night.

 **Author's note: Hi there (。･д･)ﾉﾞ. That's it, chapter II. I hope you all enjoyed it. I try to write as much as possible. I'm sorry if I won't update the story very much, but my school is very important at the moment. Feel free to leave a review, I would love to use your tips in my stories. And if you like this story don't forget to add it to your favourites. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 **12-18-2018- Author's note: I hope you enjoy the story as it is now. I'm adding different plots and happenings to the tale now so it'll make more sense. I would really like it if you'd let me know what you think about the story in its new jacket.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III**

Thackery walked in silence as he descended a small hill. Alice swayed on his shoulder with every step he took.

A tense silence hung between them; Alice was still mad at herself and frustrated that she couldn't change her mistake, and Thackery felt like he was the guilty one.

Thackery straightened his back. ''Are you sure it was Stayne?'' he asked uncertain. ''Yes,'' Alice replied coldly gazing blankly in front of her. ''But you don't believe me anyways, so it doesn't make any difference.'' She clenched her teeth as a fresh wave of pain flooded her body.

Thackery turned his head so he could look at her. ''What did you do to yourself?'' he asked concerned. ''I fell from a balcony on a marble floor on my back. But that was several days ago,'' she replied curtly.

She felt too many emotions at once. Anger, frustration, pain mental and physical, guilt. It was just too much.

She sighed and turned to Thackery. ''I'm sorry I'm so crude. I'm just going through a rather rough time now,'' she said softly. Thackery's face softened. ''I understand. I've had those times too. Everyone has.''

He looked back in front of him again. ''We're nearing Marmoreal, you can see the tip of the turrets peeking over the trees.'' He pointed at the forest in front of him.

''I'd say another twenty minutes and we'll be there,'' he said as they entered the forest.

* * *

After some time, Alice was able to see cherry trees through the thick dark forest trees and knew they had almost reached the White Queen's castle.

Thackery walked onto the path which led into the castle. The gates were open and the entrance was guarded by two guards clothed in white. The castle loomed up as Thackery neared it.

''Welcome back, Thackery. What's your business here?'' one of the guards asked curiously. Thackery turned just enough so the guard could see Alice on his shoulder.

''Champion, welcome back,'' the guard said. He bowed low. Alice smiled at him. ''Thank you for your kindness. But there is no need to bow,'' she said blushing.

The guard stood up again and nodded with a smile. Thackery waved curtly and then walked into the castle. ''Where should I take you?'' Thackery asked turning his head so he faced her again. ''Take me to the White Queen,'' Alice replied immediately. ''Your wish is my order,'' he replied.

The white walls glinted in the soft moonlight and sent dim rays across the floor. He walked to two big double doors which Alice recognized at once. They were at least five yards high, and three width. A symbol was carved in the pearl white, smooth polished stone.

The huge doors led to the White Queen's throne room. Alice knew this because she had walked through them herself, right after she had stolen the Vorpal sword from the Red Queen and returned it to its rightful owner, the White Queen.

Thackery knocked two times on the huge doors. Alice waited impatiently as waves of pain emerged from her wrist and back. After several moments they both opened inwards at the same time. They didn't creak or made any sound at all.

Thackery waited until they were completely opened then walked into the throne room. He immediately received a warm welcome.

''Thackery!'' Alice recognized the White Queen's, Mirana's, voice. ''Welcome, but why are you here? You only come here when you...'' She trailed off as her eyes caught Alice on his shoulder.

''It can't be,'' she said softly, she stood up from her white throne. ''Hello, Mirana.'' Alice said, a smile forming on her lips. ''My Champion? Am I dreaming?'' she asked herself. ''No Mirana, you're not dreaming. I have returned,'' Alice said. She ignored the pain that continued travelling through her body.

When she realised this person really was Alice, her champion, the threat slayer, Mirana smiled from ear to ear; which strongly reminded Alice of Chessur.

The Queen walked in her own stylish way toward Thackery. ''Well done, Thackery. Well done,'' she said smiling at him. Thackery beamed, ''It wasn't any effort.'' he said.

The Queen hold her hand open in front of Alice so she could jump onto it, and asked, ''I guess you would like to become your normal size again?'' Alice stood in her palm and tried to retain her balance. ''Yes please,'' she replied. ''I'm also hurt, so please be careful,'' she said softly as she clenched her teeth when she swayed dangerously close to the edge.

''What happened?'' Mirana asked concerned. Alice explained her that she had fallen from a balustrade onto marble stones.

''I can fix that for you. Though, I think we should first return you to your normal size.''

The Queen turned and walked through the throne room. ''Thackery if you'd follow me too,'' she said. Thackery watched her confused but followed. The Queen opened another double door, and walked into the kitchen.

She carefully put Alice on the kitchen counter. ''Upelküchen right?'' she asked Thackery, who nodded quickly.

She walked to a cabinet, and opened it. It was a nice cabinet. It was made of dark oak wood and smoothly polished.

She examined the contents. ''Aha, here we are,'' she said smiling. She took out a small cake with white icing.

She took the cake to Alice, and broke off a small piece and laid it before her on the kitchen counter. ''Here you go, just a bite, no more,'' she said warningly.

Alice did as the Queen said and took a small bite. She felt she was growing in length but also in width. Alice looked down and saw herself growing taller and taller but suddenly stopped.

''Feel better?'' the Queen asked walking toward her. Alice nodded curtly. ''Let's get you to your room so I can heal you,'' she said gently. ''I have to see Tarrant first,'' Alice said urgently. The Queen shook her head. ''We should first get you to your room and let you rest.''

Alice knew she wouldn't win the discussion so she didn't even continue.

''Thackery, how would you like to work here at the castle?'' the Queen asked turning around. ''Well, of course I would love to. But what can I do here?'' Thackery asked unsure. ''You will be my personal cook, Thackery,'' the Queen replied. She smiled as she saw Thackery's surprised face. ''A certain someone told me, you can cook very well,'' she added and winked at Alice.

Thackery looked up at her and nodded curtly. You could see he was proud, very proud. ''You can start immediately,'' she said kindly. ''Of course, my Queen,'' he said, then he bowed.

''Wonderful. Alice you'll come with me,'' she said turning back to Alice. She smiled and left the room. Alice followed, but before she closed the doors, smiled at Thackery.

They walked down several corridors. The pain and pressure increased with every step she took.

After some time the White Queen stopped in front of a door Alice recognized. ''I suppose you'd like to sleep in your old room,'' she said smiling as she opened the door.

Alice grinned and waited for the door to be completely opened, then she stepped into the room and greeted the familiarity. ''And I guess I was right,'' the Queen added.

The balcony doors were closed but filled with small panes so there would be enough light.

Alice lay down on the bed just as the White Queen asked her to do. ''I will be gone for some time to get the right items to heal you,'' she said as Alice shifted so she lay comfortable.

She nodded. The White Queen left the room and set for the kitchen again.

She brewed a potion that would let Alice sleep and some other potions that would cure her, and also an ordinary sling.

She quickly returned to the room. ''First, I'll make you sleep. Then I will cure you with magic, then I'll let you wake up naturally,'' she explained as she put the potions on the nightstand.

Alice nodded and closed her eyes. The Queen poured some of the sleeping potion into her mouth and waited until she had fallen asleep and snored softly.

She took half an hour to fix everything. Alice had many wounds on her hand, and her wrist and back were bruised. Even though the Queen would be able to fix them, Alice would have to wear a sling around her arm to let it rest for a day or two.

''That should do it,'' she said as she adjusted the sling so Alice's hurt hand would lay on her chest. She heaved a sigh and quietly left the room.

* * *

Alice slowly opened an eye as she felt she was regaining control over her body. She grunted as her arm ached of stiffness.

Bright rays of sunlight shone through the balcony doors and flooded the room. She held a hand in front of her eyes to block the sunlight. But when she did, she noticed someone sitting next to the doors on a wooden chair.

She squeezed her eyes shut to look through the bright rays. She gasped as she recognized the person.

He stepped in front of the doors and blocked the sunlight. ''Tarrant...'' she whispered.

He stood there his expression impossible to read. ''I-I…'' she started.

''Shh,'' he said softly. ''You're hurt, you should recover,'' he said uncomfortably. Alice frowned. ''Are you alright?'' she asked raising an eyebrow.

''Yes,'' he replied curtly. ''I'm fine.'' He walked back to the chair and sat down again. Alice watched him confused, sat upright and leaned against the pillows.

He watched her blankly as Alice tried to grasp her memories. ''I've been gone for two years…'' she muttered guiltily. She looked at her arm in the sling. It felt sore, but it didn't hurt badly anymore.

Tarrant didn't respond to her muttering. Alice watched her feet under the blanket and felt a tear roll down her cheek.

''I'm so sorry,'' she said finally. Tarrant focussed on her as the sun rays were blocked by a cloud. ''For what?'' he asked blankly.

Alice looked at him as another tear escaped her eye. ''I've been gone for two years, how could I be so stupid to forget that time goes by faster here. I'm a stupid brat,'' she said, her voice growing hoarse.

''You couldn't do anything about it,'' he replied. ''Not in your conditions. And why did you come back after a few days? You was supposed to rest at least a few weeks, you could've done permanent damage to yourself!'' he said his voice raising slightly.

Alice watched him stunned, why is he behaving like this? He shouldn't be so angry, she thought tears emerging from her eyes.

Her face hardened and she pulled herself together. ''Do you want to know why I have returned?'' she asked anger rooting in her body. ''Do you want to know why I risked to catch permanent body damage?''

When the Hatter didn't reply and continued watching her blankly she said, ''Because I had a vision of you!'' she shouted her anger erupting inside. ''I had a vision of you, in a dream. I dreamt that everything was dark and I heard your voice calling for me. I couldn't see you, so I started turning around wildly trying to find you, but wasn't able to. Until you stood behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. Then you kneeled in front of me…'' She trailed off as she remembered the kiss.

Tarrant watched her still blankly, one of his pupils slightly askew. She sighed and muttered, ''You kissed me.''

She looked back at the bumps where her feet were covered by the blankets. ''I came back because I thought you were in danger,'' she said softly. ''I don't want anything to happen to you.''

''When I realized I had slept for three days I felt incredible guilty and feared what might had become of you from the heartbreak I caused, the heartbreak you were forced to suffer for two long years,'' she said turning back to him.

He stood up as the cloud in front of the sun shifted, but was once again blocked by him. As the light shone past him a smile appeared on his lips. ''I knew it,'' he said softly. ''You care about me.''

He sat down on the edge of the bed and faced Alice. ''I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, and I've survived the two years.'' He wiped a tear from her face as she smiled at him.

She was so relieved he hadn't changed a bit.

His hand lingered on her face, and he gently stroked her cheek. ''I love you, Alice. And I will never stop doing so.''

Alice closed her eyes and enjoyed his warm hand on her soft skin. ''I love you too,'' she said.

He slightly tilted his head as he looked into Alice's eyes. He smiled adorably, his hat slightly askew and his skin completely pale. He slowly leaned forward.

Her heartbeat sped up as he neared her.

The door opened and he shot back. The White Queen entered the room. She didn't seem to have noticed their moment.

She nodded with a smile to her Royal Hatter, then turned to Alice. ''Finally, you've woken,'' she said softly. ''He hasn't left your side the entire time,'' she said as she beckoned at Tarrant. Alice looked at him as his cheeks lit up.

''Maybe you two would like to spend some time together,'' she proposed smiling wickedly. She knows, Alice thought as she watched her blankly.

''Yeah,'' she said quickly. ''I would love to,'' she said turning to the Hatter. He smiled quickly as his cheeks were completely red. Mirana nodded quickly and then left the room. She shot a quick glance into the room before she closed the door.

''I should get dressed,'' Alice said. She looked in the room searching for her dress. ''Here is a new dress,'' the Hatter said walking to the closet. He opened it and took out a blue one.

He returned to Alice and handed her the dress. He turned around so she could change.

When she had put it on, she realized there was a zipper on her back and she couldn't reach it herself.

''Could you help me?'' she asked turning around with her back to the Hatter.

Tarrant hesitantly turned around and approached her. He reached toward the zipper with a trembling hand and slowly zipped it shut as Alice stood completely motionless. He let his hands slide over her shoulders and down her arms before he let go of her. She turned around.

''I've missed you,'' he lisped as he took her hands. The bluish, green colour of his eyes turned into a soft blue. ''I've missed you too,'' she replied as she hugged him softly with one arm.

He put his arms around her and lay his head on hers.

When they parted, Alice took one of his hands as excitement blossomed up in her body. ''Can you show me your workshop?'' she asked. He watched her surprised. ''Of course I can, if that is what you wish,'' he replied with a smile. They left the room.

On the way they exchanged stories. Alice told him about the story of Snow White, which was a classic hit in her world.

''How can skin be snow white?'' he asked unbelievably. Alice chuckled. ''It was just a made up story,'' she said as he grinned. ''I knew that,'' he replied quickly. Alice sniggered.

His workshop wasn't very close to Alice's room, though it didn't really matter, they enjoyed one another's presence as they laughed about jokes and exchanged many grins and frowns.

They walked through the main hall to a staircase in the left wall which Alice hadn't noticed before.

When the Hatter halted in front of a door he said, ''Can you close your eyes for a second?''

She raised an eyebrow, though did as she was told. ''No peeking,'' he said as he opened the doors behind him.

Alice waited patiently when several moments elapsed. ''Just a second,'' Tarrant said as a low deep scraping sound emerged from the room. After several seconds she heard the door open again.

''Keep your eyes closed,'' he told her. Alice felt his warm hands touching her waist and guiding her through the door and into the room. They were trembling but Alice smiled as she noticed how uncertain he really was.

As she was led into the room, she felt the soft and warm sun shining through onto her face. ''Almost there,'' he said softly.

He stopped walking but didn't remove his hands from her waist. She didn't open her eyes and waited patiently for him to give her a signal that she may reopen them.

But it didn't come. She sensed him shifting in front of her.

Alice felt the warmth of his body nearing as her heartbeat sped up again. She felt a soft brush on her cheek as his soft lips met hers.

She relaxed her muscles as she enjoyed their contact.

A few days ago when she had met the Hatter, she wouldn't even dare to imagine she would, just a few days later, stand in Marmoreal kissing with a mad man.

Though, he's my mad man, she thought dreamily.

When he slowly retreated, she followed him until their lips parted.

She opened her eyes and looked into his soft blue ones in front of her. She didn't know how her face looked but she felt blank.

He took a step backwards. ''I-I'm sorry,'' he said as his eyes returned to their bluish, green colour. She shook her head. ''No, don't be.'' She smiled kindly.

He shifted uncomfortably but smiled back.

''Well.'' He beckoned around. ''This is my workshop,'' he said.

She ripped her gaze off the Hatter, and examined the room. Her jaw dropped as the room smiled at her in all its glory. A round window sat on the left wall and under it an enormous wooden table completely filled by different hat designs, tools and fabric.

In the corner sat a dark wooden closet. The walls weren't white as the rest of the castle, they were red with an interesting pattern of flowers.

The room was filled by hat stands with beautiful hats. She knew the Hatter could do some magnificent things with fabric but these stood out from all his earlier creations.

The tools on the table and glitters on the hats sparkled like stars in a pitch black night sky. The room was flooded with light, the light that shone through the window could reach every corner because of its position in the wall.

''What do you think?'' Tarrant asked unsure. She slowly turned toward him. ''It's beautiful!'' she said stunned.

''Where do you get the inspiration for these?'' Alice asked astounded walking toward the hat stands. ''I don't know. It just pops into my mind,'' he replied. ''But I created those before Wonderland was conquered by the Red Queen.'' He shifted uncomfortably.

Alice turned toward him. ''But what did you do in those two years I was gone?'' she asked frowning. His cheeks lit up as he desperately sought for words. ''I-I, didn't make any hats,'' he said uncertain.

''What did you make then?'' she asked curiously. ''Erh.'' The Hatter really wasn't sure about his actions now.

He kept silent for several moments, and heaved a sigh. ''I can show you.'' He offered her his hand.

She took it, and together they walked back into the corridors of the enormous castle.

* * *

The next few minutes were spent on searching the castle's corridors, to Alice it was searching, though the Hatter was completely sure where he was going and which turns to take. Alice didn't really matter what happened around her, she was thinking about what just happened in the workshop.

She thought dreamily and didn't pay attention; the Hatter stopped walking, and Alice walked a few paces further without noticing, only hold back by his hand which refused to let go. She quickly turned around, her cheeks reddening and muttered an apology while the Hatter stood there grinning from ear to ear.

She forced a quick smile, and cleared her throat. ''Is this it?'' she asked turning to the door. Tarrant's grin slowly turned into a gentle smile. ''Yes,'' he replied.

Alice had never been in this part of the castle. The walls were still white, but not really bright; they were more like grey. The doors weren't made from white polished stone, but from wood. The doorknobs where made of glass, and shaped round.

Tarrant turned it which was followed by a soft click. He opened the door inwards. Alice glanced inside. The room was filled with objects that had been covered with sheets. The walls were white, and reflected the light of one single candle in the corner, it gave it a spooky emanation.

Alice could make out several objects in the room under the sheets, like a chair, a mirror, a closet, etc. Though, there was one item she didn't recognize. In the middle of the room stood a wooden table with a small box on top of it.

''What is that?'' she asked. Tarrant let go of her hand and approached the table. ''This,'' he said. ''is what I've been working on.'' He beckoned at Alice to come closer.

She slowly walked to the table, searching his face for any displayed emotion, but once again his face was completely blank.

 _This can't possibly be a hat_ , she thought looking down at the small box. _Can he do other things than just work with fabric?_ she thought considerably.

''Before I open this, I will have to inform you that this object is filled with magic, and won't be able to work in your world,'' he said. Alice watched him confused. My world? Why would my world matter in this case? she thought. It's not like… She couldn't finish her thoughts because Tarrant had opened the box.

She gazed at the object as her jaw dropped. ''How…'' She looked at him. ''Did you…'' Then back at the box. She gingerly sought for the right words. After a few trashy attempts she gave up and sighed.

In the box lay a necklace. It was different than any other necklace Alice had ever seen. It was a half-moon made from silver with beautiful carvings in it, in the middle was a beautiful glinting blue sapphire with small white specks in it.

Finally, Alice could think of the right words. ''Did you make this?'' she asked. The Hatter's expression was still unreadable, though you could hear he was nervous. ''Yes,'' he replied quickly. ''I thought you could only make hats,'' Alice said looking up. The Hatter's face finally displayed some emotion. ''I used to only make hats,'' he replied. ''But, I felt you earned something more special.''

''There's no hat I could make that would approve to your beauty.'' His voice grew more confident as he was talking. ''But this.'' He took the necklace from the box, unlocked the chain, and stepped toward Alice.

''I can't take it,'' she said shaking her head. ''It must be worth a fortune, and why would you give it to me? I'm not someone important like Mirana,'' she said. The Hatter's smile turned into a frown. ''Alice,'' he said. He put the necklace back into the box. ''You will never, ever, say you're unworthy for anything.''

''You're more special than Mirana. Not because you're the Champion, but because I care about you.'' He sighed. ''Alice, I love you. And that is something Mirana will never get from me.'' He looked into her eyes. She was smiling and her eyes were watering. ''Of course, I care about her as a friend, but she'll never,'' he paused. ''do you hear me? Never, be more important to me than you are.'' He finished with a small sigh.

Alice smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. She ran toward him and embraced him tightly with one arm. ''I love you too,'' she whispered. The light of the candle softly flickered and cast dim shadows across the floor.

When they broke apart, Alice turned around so Tarrant could place the necklace around her neck. Again, he slid his hands down her arms, and sent shivers down her spine, though she wasn't feeling uncomfortable, she enjoyed his touch.

He took her hand, and put his head on her shoulder. ''I love you,'' he whispered in her ear, before he gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

''Let's see how it fits you,'' he said retreating. Alice smiled, and turned around. The jewel glimmered in the soft candle light. Tarrant slightly tilted his head. ''You're breathtaking,'' he said softly.

Alice grinned. ''Well, thank you,'' she said politely as she curtsied. Tarrant took her hand and pulled her toward him. Their chests met and he immediately kissed her. She closed her eyes as she felt his body touch hers.

When they broke apart again, Alice raised an eyebrow. ''What was that for?'' she asked smiling. ''We have a lot of time to make up, two years is a very long period,'' he said wisely. ''Well, in that case.''

Alice kissed him again.

She retreated with shock. ''What?'' Tarrant asked concerned. Alice faced him. ''I forgot to tell you, and Mirana, and everyone!'' she looked around panicky. She let go of the Hatter and looked around wildly. ''How could I forgot?'' she asked her voice overflowing with terror. ''What's wrong?'' Tarrant asked quickly.

Alice didn't reply and continued turning. ''Alice,'' he said urgently. He took her arms and looked into her eyes. She stopped turning and looked into his. ''What happened?'' he asked.

Her panic returned and her breath accelerated. ''Stayne is back!'' she shouted panicky.

 **Author's note: Another chapter done. As always, I hope you guys enjoyed it. And don't forget to review. If you have any tips for me how I can make my stories more interesting, don't hesitate to let me know.**

 **(By the way, I do not own Alice in Wonderland)**

 **(01-10-2019): Hello, peeps! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, by the way I apologize for taking so long to update. As you might've noticed, it's 2019, yeeh, party. I want to wish you all a happy new year, but just like you guys, I had vacation, and vacation means rest. Even so, I also want to apologize for taking so long to add the Mad Hatter/Tarrant Hightopp to the story, but I just felt I needed a few chapters to create the start of the story line, in which Alice would return to Wonderland. Well, I shouldn't talk so much, but a second time to you all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter IV

Tarrant watched her shocked. ''Are you serious?'' he asked. ''I am. That's why I need you to be there too,'' Alice said taking his hand and pulling him toward the door.

She reached out for the door knob, ''Wait,'' Tarrant said before she could open it. She turned around with a questioning look, only to receive a gentle kiss on the lips. ''After we leave this room we won't be able to do that anymore,'' he said with a grin. Alice smiled weakly. She was glad he was still his happy self, but she was really concerned about Stayne.

Tarrant opened the door before she could, and took her hand. ''Do you know where Mirana is?'' Alice asked. ''I guess she's in the throne room,'' he replied. Alice tried to run, but that still hurt, so they walked at a fast pace. ''Are you really sure it was him?'' Tarrant asked again. Alice nodded. ''I'm sure,'' she said.

His comment made her suspicious, she tried not to show it on her face. Maybe he doesn't believe me either, Alice thought. She forced the thought away before she would become angry with him, before he had done anything. No that would be a bad way to start their relationship. She decided to keep it to herself for some time. Relationship are about trust, right? she thought.

Before she knew it, they stood in front of the big double doors. One last time Tarrant asked her if she was absolutely sure, but when she gave him an annoyed look he turned to the doors and pushed them open. They entered, and to Alice's great relief, the White Queen sat on her throne. She turned to them. ''Your majesty,'' Tarrant said, bowing.

They were still walking hand in hand, and the Queen grinned broadly at them. Alice noticed this and felt her cheeks light up. ''My royal hatter and my loyal champion, I couldn't wish for more!'' she said cheerfully. Tarrant grinned at Alice who couldn't help but smile a little.

One of her servants entered the room with a cup of tea. He handed her the cup and left the room again. Alice watched her take a sip, when Stayne came back drifting into her mind. ''Erhm, your majesty,'' she said. Mirana turned to her. ''I have some alarming news,'' Alice said quickly.

''What's wrong?'' she asked concerned, placing the cup on a table next to her throne. ''Could we have a private conversation?'' She looked at the guards in the room. Mirana smiled and wove them away. Alice waited before they had vanished from sight, before she started. ''Now, what happened?'' she asked.

''I've sighted Stayne,'' Alice blurted out. The Queen watched her for some time, her eyes slowly growing a little distant, before raising an eyebrow. ''Ilosovic Stayne, the banished knave?'' she asked. Alice nodded quickly. For a moment, there was complete silence. But then, the Queen burst out laughing. ''That's impossible,'' she hiccuped. Alice watched her surprised, and raised an eyebrow. This wasn't normal behaviour for the White Queen. She was known for her trust and kindness, and if she didn't believe something she would do anything but laugh at them.

''What makes you think you've sighted him?'' she asked wiping a tear away. Alice was lost in thought and therefore didn't hear her comment. ''Well?'' Mirana asked impatiently. Alice was pulled back to reality when Mirana watched her sternly. ''I, uh,'' she started. For a second she had forgotten what they were there for, but fortunately for her, she remembered quickly. ''He chased me,'' she said quickly, her cheeks slightly reddening.

Alice watched the Queen suspiciously. ''Are you alright?'' she asked. Mirana faked a cough and said she was feeling a bit off. ''Alice, you have to tell me precisely what you think you saw,'' the Queen urged her.

''Well, I arrived at the small door and he stood behind me. He chased me until the clearing at the old mill, from there he left,'' she said. ''I haven't seen him since,'' she added. Mirana watched her thoughtful. ''I'm sure you didn't really see him, I think it was because of your pain, maybe you were hallucinating,'' she said.

Alice watched her gaping. ''I thought you would believe me,'' she mumbled. ''Why don't you? You're behaving weird,'' she said angrily. The Queen watched her, also angry. ''How dare you, I am the Queen and I am in charge of this place,'' she said standing up. ''You couldn't have seen Stayne, because he is banished to the Outlands, never to return,'' she said sternly.

Alice's eyes filled with tears and she watched her angrily. She looked at Tarrant who watched her a little uncomfortable. He doesn't believe me! she thought furiously. She turned around and stormed out of the room. Her back prickled, but she ignored it, her anger was too much for her to handle on her own, she had to let it out one way or another. She returned to her room, which to her surprise she found the first time, without getting lost.

She walked to her bed and fell down, face down onto her pillow. She was careful not to hurt her arm, but she didn't really care. She was angry, angry at everyone. Suddenly she wanted to run away, away from the castle away from everything. How childish that might sound, she really considered it.

She could take the Bandersnatch and run off into the woods. That sounded like a pretty good plan, but for now she was too upset and she just wanted to lay there, face down on her pillow.

She heard a knock on the door. ''Go away,'' she said into the pillow. ''Alice, please,'' Tarrant said from the other side of the door. She didn't reply; she didn't want to be harsh, neither show him that she just accepted that he didn't trust her nor believed her. She heard the door open, and footsteps nearing her.

She didn't do anything and still laid on the pillow. She felt him sit down on the edge of the bed next to her. ''So, you want to talk about what happened?'' he asked. Alice shook her head. ''No,'' she said stubbornly. ''Hm, maybe I can change your mind,'' he said. Alice was quite confused by his comment, but she still didn't remove her head from the pillow.

She felt his hands on her waist, and before she could do anything she was being tickled. She laughed madly, forced to remove her head from the pillow to breathe. Tarrant flipped her over before she could return her face on the pillow, and pushed her down gently by her hand.

''That wasn't fair,'' she said. He raised an eyebrow. ''I don't play fair,'' he said with a broad grin. ''I've noticed that,'' she mumbled sitting up. She looked at her feet with a troubled look. ''Hey, what's wrong,'' he asked. She looked at him, with tears in her eyes.

''I don't know what to do, Stayne is back and the Queen doesn't believe me,'' she said. ''What am I supposed to do?'' she said. Tarrant watched her several seconds. ''You do believe me, don't you?'' she asked suspiciously. He shifted a little, but that was enough of an answer to her. ''You don't believe me either,'' she said. ''You're picking sides with the Queen,'' she said.

He opened his mouth to reply, but Alice cut him off. ''You're choosing her over me,'' she said tears returning to her eyes. ''If you'd just listen,'' Tarrant said desperately. ''She's still better than me, I knew…''

She was cut off because Tarrant kissed her fiercely. ''Now, listen carefully,'' he said as he faced a shocked Alice. ''If I were to do sides, I would be on yours, for sure. And I thought I told you not to say that ever again, you are the most important to me,'' he said. Alice watched him, still shocked. He sighed. ''I'm sorry,'' he said. ''No, it's OK,'' Alice said quickly. ''But, you do believe me?'' she asked.

''I believe you wouldn't make this story up. It is very unlikely for him to be back, but if you say so, then I believe it,'' he said. Alice squeaked and hugged him tight. ''Thank you,'' she mumbled happily. She was so happy someone believed her.

Now her mind took the best of her again, and started filling her head with ideas and plans to investigate exactly why Stayne was back, when another thought drove into her mind.

''Tarrant?'' she said, when she pulled back. ''Did you notice the Queen was behaving strange?'' she asked carefully. ''Yes, she reacted rather harsh,'' he agreed. ''I mean, it's nothing for her to be so angry and stern,'' he said thoughtful.

Alice watched him and smiled. She loved the way he could look when he was sunken in thought. Suddenly, the best idea of them all popped into her mind. ''Tarrant?'' she asked again. He turned to her. ''Would you like to come with me to investigate why Stayne's back?'' she asked. She was afraid he might say it was an irresponsible thing to do. But to her delight, he didn't, he just looked at her with a smile.

''When?'' he asked. ''I don't know, as soon as possible,'' she said excitedly. ''What are you planning?'' Tarrant asked grinning. ''Nothing,'' Alice said innocently. Alice felt a shiver ran up her spine. She looked at her feet, and realized she wasn't wearing shoes.

''Do you think there's a pair of shoes here that'll fit me?'' she asked. Tarrant raised an eyebrow and looked at her feet. ''Have you been walking without shoes the entire time?'' he asked concerned. Alice nodded. ''I kicked them off while Stayne was chasing me,'' she explained.

''Well, in that case. I think I might have a pair that will fit you perfectly,'' he said smiling. He stood up and left the room. He almost ran the entire way to his workshop, he was still so happy and surprised that Alice was back, his Alice. And it took him some time to realize it wasn't one of his many dreams.

When he returned, Alice had stood up and was looking in the mirror, examining the dark circles under her eyes. She thought it was weird she had them, considering that she had slept for almost a full week.

Her hair was a mess, so she took the hairbrush from the desk and didn't stop brushing until every tangle had completely disappeared. She hadn't noticed Tarrant standing in the doorway, so he knocked against the door to let her know he was back.

He approached her and halted behind her. He held the pair of shoes next to her head so she could examine them in the reflection. ''You look beautiful,'' he said looking into the mirror.

The shoes were light blue and had small flowers on the tips. ''They're perfect.'' Alice said happily. She pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. She walked to the bed and sat down on the edge. Tarrant followed her and kneeled in front of her to put the shoes on her feet.

''Tarrant?'' Alice asked for the tenth time. ''Yes?'' He was still focusing on getting the shoes on her feet, but he seemed to be able to multitask. ''Will you come with me?'' she asked looking at him. ''Where?''

''Investigate in the Outlands,'' Alice said softly. When he had managed to get the shoes on her feet, he stood up and sat next to her. ''That depends on how and when we'll leave,'' he said. Alice raised an eyebrow. ''No, I'm just joking,'' he said grinning. ''I will go with you. Where you'll go, I'll go,'' he said solemnly.

Alice chuckled and leaned against his shoulder. ''The previous days have been so weird,'' she said softly. Tarrant put an arm around her. ''Why's that?'' he asked. Alice sighed. ''I've slept for a few days, then I fell down a rabbit hole to another world, then I was being chased and almost died in pain,'' she said. ''I just need some time to rest,'' she admitted slowly.

Again, a thing she thought was weird. She had slept for almost a full week, but she felt exhausted. ''Then we'll wait a few days before we leave, I can plan everything and make sure everything goes according to plan,'' he said. ''And maybe, I will have some time left to help you rest,'' he said, grinning mischievously. Alice looked up at him and received a gentle kiss.

''Tarrant,'' she said pulling away. ''Can you also make clothes?'' she asked. ''I can,'' he nodded. Alice's mind filled with ideas, she had to ask him if he could make one of them reality. ''Why?'' he questioned curiously. ''Well, I was thinking. If we're going to journey through the woods and everything, I thought it might be a better idea for me to wear an outfit with pants instead of a dress,'' she said.

She had always wanted to wear pants, but her mother always said that wasn't proper. But now, she was in another land, and maybe it would be accepted here, although she doubted it. She waited anxiously for his reply, afraid he might call her silly for asking such a thing.

''I think I can do that,'' he said smiling. ''And I also think it would fit you quite well,'' he added softly. Alice looked up at him to see a broad grin spreading across his face. She sniggered and looked at the ground. Suddenly she felt afraid and anxious. ''What's wrong?'' Tarrant asked concerned. ''Stayne is a monster,'' she said softly. ''And I just thought what might've happened if he'd managed to catch me,'' she said, swallowing.

Tarrant embraced her and stroked her hair. ''I'm sorry you had to go through that, darling,'' he said softly. ''I wish I was there to keep you safe. But now I am, and I will never let you go,'' he said. Alice felt tears stream down her cheeks, and she had absolutely no intentions in stopping them.

* * *

After some time Alice decided to lie down for some time and rest. She was completely exhausted. Tarrant had left the room for his workshop. He was really eager to start on her outfit.

She smiled to herself as she thought of what was happening. I'm back, she thought happily, before she drifted off to sleep.

Again, her dream started with complete darkness. ''Not again,'' she mumbled. She looked around, in search for Tarrant. But she couldn't see anything. She waited patiently, and then heard his shout for help. She turned to the source of the sound but didn't see him.

''Alice, help me!'' he yelled. ''They've got me!'' Alice shifted. That wasn't in my dream, she thought nervously. ''Tarrant?''

''Alice, please. They've caught me!'' he yelled desperately. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around, but only to look into Stayne's scarred face. He smirked down at her, and she screamed in terror.

She started running into the darkness, but he followed her easily. ''Tarrant!'' she yelled helplessly. Suddenly she was on a square. She recognized it instantly, but froze in shock. Those few seconds decided her faith, and Stayne got hold of her.

She was on the square in Salazen Grum where the Red Queen used to do her beheadings. She watched in horror as she noticed Tarrant sat with bowed head on the heart shaped stone. ''Help me!'' he yelled.

Alice struggled against Stayne's hold but she couldn't escape. ''Tarrant! No, let me go!'' she screamed punching around, trying to hit Stayne in the face. But he was too fast and after some time he grabbed her hands so she couldn't move. He forced her forward, closer to the stone. 

The Red Queen stood next to Tarrant with the heart shaped axe, grinning at her. Stayne stopped close to her and forced Alice to watch.

The Red Queen raised the axe. Alice watched it with terror. ''No! Don't do it!'' she yelled. Tarrant turned so she could look her in the eyes. He smiled slightly. The Red Queen slowly lowered it and raised it again to check if she would hit his neck. ''Tarrant,'' Alice whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. ''Alice,'' he said. ''Tarrant, no!'' she shouted as the Red Queen was readying to thrust the axe into his neck.

She watched her terrified. ''Look at me,'' he said. Alice lowered her gaze to look him in the eyes. ''I love you, Alice,'' he said. Then, the Red Queen lowered the axe and: Tjak!

Alice screamed and tears streamed down her cheeks. She fell to her knees. ''Tarrant, no!'' she hiccupped. ''Tarrant!'' she yelled. ''What have you done!'' she shouted up at the smirking faces. ''What have you done,'' she sobbed into her hands.

Alice didn't dare to look at his body. She sobbed loudly yelling his name in the progress.

''Alice!''

Someone was roughly shaking her. ''Alice, wake up!''

Her eyes shot open and she looked right into a pair of emerald green ones. Tarrant leaned back, his expression concerned. ''Are you alright?'' he asked. Alice looked around disorientated. ''I-I.'' She looked at Tarrant. ''She killed you,'' she squeaked, as she remembered the dream.

''What? Who killed me?'' he asked. ''T-the Red Queen. W-we were back i-in Salazen Grum, but s-she had captured you, and-and she-she,'' she stuttered through big tears. Tarrant hugged her tightly. ''I'm here, Alice. I'm safe, and so are you,'' he reassured her. ''I promise, she won't be able to harm you as long as you're here.''

''It was just so real,'' she sobbed. ''I know, but it was just a dream,'' he reassured her. She sighed to calm down a bit and wiped away her tears. ''Are you alright?'' he asked. She smiled a bit and nodded. ''Thank you,'' she mumbled. ''Everything for my Alice,'' he said smiling.

She leaned in and kissed him. ''I love you,'' she whispered as she pulled back. ''I love you too,'' he said smiling slightly. Alice hugged him. ''Can you stay here with me?'' she asked when she sank back onto her pillow.

''Yes, of course,'' he said, lying down next to her. It was a king size bed, so there was enough space. She took his hand, as if careful she might lose him. She closed her eyes, feeling calm with him next to her.

She tensed a little when the memory of her dream returned, but she quickly relaxed when she felt Tarrant circling his thumb over her palm. Slowly she dozed off.

* * *

She woke to find Tarrant next to her. He was watching her with a small smile. ''And, had any nightmares?'' he asked. Alice shook her head and yawned. ''I guess you work like a talisman,'' she said grinning.

She snuggled up against him. ''Thank you for staying with me,'' she said gratefully. ''Always,'' he replied, placing a soft kiss on her bare shoulder.

''Are you rested?'' he asked. ''I guess, why?''

''I thought, maybe you'd like to help me creating your outfit?'' he said. ''I also need your sizes before I can start with the fabric,'' he said. ''Yeah, I'd like that,'' she said rolling out of the bed. ''Do you think I can take off this sling?'' she asked looking at it in the mirror.

''I guess. It had some rest now, so I think it won't do any harm,'' he said walking toward her. Her hair had tangled again, but it didn't look as bad as before her nap. She started prying on the knot in the sling so she could take it off.

Meanwhile, Tarrant took the hairbrush from the cabinet and brushed her hair, careful not to hurt her. ''How are you feeling?'' he asked, looking at her face through the reflection. ''I don't know, it all still feels a little sore, but I can do everything. Plus, I'm back here, I have your support, and I know I'm home now,'' she said.

He watched her for several moments with a small but happy smile, then coughed and started telling her about the preparations he had made. ''I've asked the Queen if we could have a ball in your honor. If we dance a few times, then walk back into the castle, like we're exhausted and are going to sleep, no one will notice that we've left the castle,'' he said.

Alice smiled. He was so smart. She could've never come up with something so efficient, it was so good! She noticed she was staring into the mirror, so she quickly nodded and smiled. ''That's a really good plan,'' she said. ''But when?'' she asked, as the thought popped into her mind. ''I don't know, I was thinking you should decide that. I want you to be rest up really well,'' he said.

Despite his smile Alice noticed his eyes were filled with concern. She got that, she felt it too. But she also thought investigating about Stayne's return was one of her top priorities. She had no idea what she could expect from Wonderland, she had only seen a little part of the wondrous land. She had no idea what could be lurking in the shadows, especially in the Outlands.

''Don't worry,'' she said. He smiled at her and placed the brush back on the cabinet and offered her his hand. ''Are you ready?'' he asked raising an eyebrow. ''The next few hours will be filled with terror and probably people will pass out,'' he said cautiously. Then he grinned and Alice chuckled.

She took his hand and together they went to his workshop, ready to prepare for their big adventure.

* * *

Tarrant opened the door to his workshop and walked casually to the wooden table. He took off his hat and placed it on the table. To Alice it was still a beautiful place, it was only the second time she had seen it but it was stunning in every way. She approached him and looked at a few drawings he was bowed over. ''I've been experimenting a bit while you were asleep,'' he said, passing her some of the papers.

Alice examined them and gaped at his incredible skills at designing. She had always thought his hats were beautiful, especially because he had the ability to create extraordinary hats and designs.

The papers all had a sketch of a different piece of clothing, completely detailed. She examined them all intently. The last one was the complete set. The blouse wouldn't be too tight, and the pants would be perfect to run in.

''Tarrant,'' she breathed. ''I love it,'' she said, turning to him and passing him his designs. He grinned a little as his cheeks reddened. ''Well, I've already chosen some different fabrics that I thought you'd like, you just have to pick one.'' He gestured at the cabinet against the wall.

Alice opened it and gazed at all the different kind of fabrics that were inside. There was black, green, blue, purple, red, white and even gold fabric. Alice looked at the mountain of different choices. Tarrant chuckled behind her and stood next to her. ''I had picked some that were most comfortable,'' he said taking a few different fabrics from one of the shelves.

Alice sighed relieved. ''All you have to do is pick one of these,'' he said spreading them on the wooden table. Most of them were brown, light, dark but also a little faded. ''I think I'll take that one,'' she said pointing at a darker one. Tarrant took it and put it beside him.

''Are you OK with a blouse for the top?'' he asked, returning to the cabinet. ''Yes, I'd really like that,'' Alice said, watching him pick some fabrics. Again he spread them on the table, and Alice chose a beige fabric for the blouse, and matching buttons.

When everything was sorted out and they had found the right fabric and had gathered the tools, Tarrant took a measuring tape and a mannequin. It was bigger than Alice, but Tarrant didn't seem to be stressing about that, so Alice decided not to make a big problem.

He placed it in the middle of the room and asked Alice to spread her arms. Alice raised her arms, and felt shivers go up her spine as he measured the length of her waist and arms. She liked to watch him do his thing, he could be so focused.

She forced the thoughts away and waited patiently until he was done. He walked to the mannequin and whispered the measured lengths in its ear. Alice wasn't sure why he did that, until the mannequin seemed to be shrinking. She watched it unbelievably and felt astounded. Tarrant grinned and asked her if she could pull up her dress a little.

She blushed but did it anyways. She pulled it up to her knees. He measured the lengths of her legs and also whispered them in the ear of the mannequin. Alice's eyes widened, and felt she had to learn so many things about Wonderland.

Now, the mannequin was exactly as big as Alice. ''Alright, we can start working with the fabric,'' he said, storing away the measuring tape. He took the fabric, sat down in his chair and started working. Alice walked behind him and looked over his shoulder at what he was doing.

''Do you think we're going to make it in time, I mean before that Ball?'' she asked worriedly. He looked up at Alice, from her point of view his face was upside-down. ''My dear Alice, I'm a royal hatter, I can make this outfit in no time, compared to those amateurs in other parts of the world,'' he said grinning. He noticed Alice's worry didn't ease. ''Everything is going to be fine, my dear Alice,'' he said, smiling reassuringly.

''You're great,'' Alice said, smiling at him. ''I know,'' he said grinning broadly. Alice leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his nose.

For the next three hours they worked non-stop. Tarrant did most of the work of course, but Alice would assist him as well as she could. After some time she grew very tired, but she kept fighting it because she didn't want to leave him. But at some point, Tarrant couldn't bear that she was forcing herself to stay awake, while her eyelids kept dropping.

Suddenly, he stood up and walked to one of the corners where some fabric and tools sat. He pulled everything aside, to reveal an armchair. He forced Alice to take a break. She couldn't win an argument with him, not even when she wasn't completely exhausted.

She sat down and watched him return to his chair at the table. Despite she really didn't want to, she dozed off. Tarrant looked at her with a small smile. How can she love me? She could have so much more, he thought.

After what felt to her like a few minutes, Tarrant woke her. He gently shook her and whispered her name. She didn't even despise the fact that she woke, she wanted to wake up like that for the rest of her life, to his voice. She opened her eyes and stretched. He wore his hat again.

''Had a nice nap?'' he asked. Alice nodded satisfied and yawned. ''What's wrong?'' she asked. ''Nothing. A guard just came to announce that dinner's served,'' he said. Alice froze. ''Dinner?'' She looked at the window, and her eyes grew big when she only saw darkness. ''How long have I slept?'' she asked quickly.

''A few hours,'' he said casually. ''But then you had to do it all alone,'' she said, suddenly feeling guilty. ''Alice, it doesn't matter. At least you're rested, that's one of my priorities. You need to be rested when we leave,'' he said.

"Are you ready?" he asked, offering her his arm. Alice sighed and took it. Together they left his workshop and started for the dining room. Tarrant waited before the doors, and Alice faced him questioningly. He pressed a fierce kiss on her lips. ''Same reason as before,'' he said grinning, before he pushed the doors open and entered the room.

Alice looked at him for a second and smiled. When the doors had opened she noticed a long, white table in the middle of the room. At the head of the table sat the White Queen. She looked normal again, her expression and attitude showed nothing of her previous behaviour.

She wasn't the only person at the table. She could also see: Chessur, McTwisp, Mallymkun, Tweedledee and Tweedledum and even Bayard. They all turned to them as they entered. ''Alice! It was true, you're back!'' Tweedledee and Tweedledum said. ''Yes, I am,'' Alice said smiling at them. She had missed this place.

Alice and Tarrant walked toward two empty seats and sat down. ''It feels good to be back,'' she said happily. She looked at the Queen, who showed nothing strange. ''Right you are Alice,'' she agreed. ''We are so happy to have you back with us,'' she said.

Alice nodded and was happy that the Queen seemed to have recovered from her earlier conditions. Thackery entered the room with a tray with tea cups, one already filled. He gave it to the Queen, and put the tray on the table. ''But what made you return?'' Bayard asked. Alice blushed a little. The only person in the world who knew the real reason, was Tarrant. And to be fair, she wanted to keep it that way.

''I felt I was needed here,'' she said truthfully. ''And I think I was right by feeling that, because I have some alarming news,'' she said worriedly. Tarrant took her hand and watched her discouraging. ''What is it, what happened?'' McTwisp asked nervously. She couldn't turn back now, she had already said too much. ''I've sighted Stayne,'' she blurted out. For a second, again there was complete silence. Then everyone was laughing. ''That's a good one, Alice,'' Chessur hiccuped, wiping a tear away. ''Chessur, I'm serious!'' Alice said offended. ''Don't you believe me? I did save Wonderland last time I was here,'' she said.

''Alice, think about it. The border to the Outlands is guarded very heavily, no one can return from there,'' Bayard said reasonably. ''I get that,'' Alice said angrily. ''But I know what I've seen,'' she said. ''And I don't know why any of you would think I'd make this story up,'' she said. ''We don't,'' Mallymkun said. ''But Alice, Stayne is banished. And once you're banished there is no return,'' she said.

The Queen suddenly cut everyone off, talking loudly. ''Alice, you really have to forget about these delusions now!'' she said angrily. ''I don't know where you get them, but you really have to stop, now.''

Alice watched her hurt. Her eyes watered and a lump formed in her throat. She stood up, excused herself and walked out of the room. Alice was furious. Even worse than before. Was Tarrant really the only one who believed her? That- that- that's madness! she thought angrily.

She returned to Tarrant's workshop and sat down in the armchair. She took the pillow and put it on her face.

After several minutes the door opened and Tarrant entered the room. ''Is that always what you do when you're upset?'' he asked. ''Burying your face in a pillow?''

Alice didn't reply. She really wasn't in the mood for jokes. He closed the door and approached her. He took the pillow from her face. ''Alice,'' he said. Alice grabbed for the pillow in his hand, but it was far from her reach. ''Give it back, Tarrant!'' she said. ''Alice,'' he said again.

She stopped and looked up at him, tears in her eyes. ''Why don't they believe me?'' she asked. ''Because they're all mad,'' he said. Alice looked up. ''But you're mad too,'' she said. ''Ah, but I'm mad enough,'' he said grinning. ''No one is as mad as me!'' he said proudly. ''You know, I'm not mad. I'm just completely insane!'' he said, laughing madly.

He always knew what to do when Alice was upset, because he had always been able to cheer her up, no matter how angry she was. ''No, you're mad,'' she said decisively. Tarrant grinned. He squeezed himself next to Alice in the armchair. ''Why don't they believe me?'' Alice asked again. Tarrant sighed. ''Because they can't think for themselves, they always listen to what the Queen says,'' he explained.

He put a strand hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek. ''And, I think because they don't realize what a beautiful, smart and responsible woman you are.'' Alice blushed as another tear rolled down her cheek. She kissed him. It was a slow and tender kiss, but filled with passion. ''I love you,'' Alice mumbled. Tarrant grinned.

After some time, he pulled back. ''Are you coming downstairs?'' he asked. Alice shook her head stubbornly. ''Alice, come on, you have to eat something,'' he said. Alice shook her head again. ''I'm not hungry,'' she said. ''Alice please,'' Tarrant said. When she didn't move, he turned around and left the room.

Alice sat upright. Had she angered him? Did he hate her now? Alice almost sprung up and followed him, but something held her back. She waited for him to return, but he didn't. Alice felt her stomach churn. ''He hates me,'' she whispered. Right at that moment the door opened, and Tarrant entered the room. He saw Alice's troubled face and approached her. ''Are you alright?'' he asked concerned.

Alice's hurt was quickly turned into happiness. ''Yes,'' she said. ''Where did you go?'' she asked raising an eyebrow. ''I went to the kitchens and asked Thackery if he could bring up some food. You have to eat something,'' he said.

After they ate they worked on the outfit. It took them a few days before it was finished.

''Do you like it?'' Tarrant asked examining the mannequin from a distance. ''Like it? I love it,'' Alice said happily. ''Thank you,'' she said pressing a kiss on his cheek. ''Now all we need is a pair of shoes,'' he said. ''I had chosen one but I wasn't sure if you'd like them,'' he said walking to the wooden table.

He took a pair of leather boots from the ground and placed them on the table so Alice could examine them. ''They're perfect,'' she said smiling.

Tarrant had pre-arranged with the Queen that they could have the ball tonight. It was about one pm so they had enough time to complete their preparations. ''What time will the ball start?'' Alice asked. ''At ten,'' he said absentmindedly. ''But it's time for you to try on your new outfit,'' he said smiling at her.

After Tarrant had left the room she got into her new outfit. It was incredible how good he was at making clothes. ''I'm done,'' she said.

Tarrant entered the room and examined her. ''You look beautiful,'' he said. ''Well, thank you,'' Alice said grinning. ''Aren't they too tight?'' he asked worriedly. Alice chuckled. ''Tarrant, they fit absolutely perfect,'' she reassured him.

''We have to ready the last preparations for our departure,'' he said. Tarrant left the room again so Alice could change back into her dress. ''I had Thackery fill two backpacks with necessities. Like food and bandages,'' Tarrant told her.

''Are there things we still need to do before we leave?'' Alice asked. ''Not necessarily, no,'' he replied.

A few hours later the ball started, and Tarrant and Alice left their rooms and walked to the gardens. ''Are you ready?'' Tarrant asked. Alice had been nervous the entire day, she wanted everything to go according to plan, but she constantly kept thinking about things that could go wrong. She swallowed and nodded. ''Yes,'' she said, taking a deep breath.

Tarrant took her hand, and together they walked down the white steps. Everyone grew silent and watched them descend the stairs. All of her friends were there too.

When they arrived in the middle of the crowd the music started to play. Alice had practiced the dance with Tarrant at least a million times. She was so afraid she might do something wrong. But to her relief she didn't. It felt like their perfect little moment.

The crowd was watching them silently. ''You're doing great,'' Tarrant whispered with a smile. Alice didn't dare talking, anxious she might lose her concentration, so she smiled.

After a few minutes the music stopped and they stopped dancing. They blended in with the crowd who started dancing themselves as a new song started to play. ''When will we go?'' Alice asked softly. ''I think it's best if we leave after two more songs,'' he said.

Alice enjoyed dancing with him. He seemed to know exactly what to do. She almost changed her mind on leaving after two songs.

After two more songs, Tarrant pulled her away from the crowd and walked back into the castle. She hoped no one noticed them leave, but even if someone did, they would have enough time to get away.

They ran toward Tarrant's workshop, because Alice's outfit was there. Alice rushed into the room and got changed. She called for him when she was done, and he entered.

He started rummaging in a box behind the wooden table. ''What are you looking for?'' Alice asked curiously. He didn't reply. He took something from the box and walked to Alice. ''Arms up,'' he said. She did as he said, but it confused her. He fastened a belt with a dagger sheath to her waist. He took a step back and examined it. ''I made it for you on the first day of your return,'' he said. ''Once you told me you wanted to go out there and investigate, I couldn't let you go without something to protect yourself.''

Alice smiled at him and withdrew the shiny dagger. It was small but efficient. Moon shaped and sharp. The hilt was made of leather and fit in her hand perfectly. She placed it back in the sheath. The belt was made of leather and had a beautiful pattern engraved in it. The belt also held two leather pouches. ''Tarrant, did you really do this in one day?'' she asked unbelievably. He nodded sheepishly.

She hugged him. ''You're full of surprises,'' she said chuckling. He sniggered. ''Well, it's time to go. The backpacks are ready and in the kitchen, we only have to pick them up on our way out,'' he said.

They walked to the kitchens, careful not to run into anyone. To their relief the kitchens were abandoned, everyone seemed to have gone to the ball.

Alice scanned the room and saw two backpacks on the counter. Tarrant took one of them and opened it to check the contents. He gave one to Alice and took her hand. ''Are you really sure about this?'' he asked for one last time, before it would be too late.

''Yes,'' she said. ''All right then. Let's get going.'' They walked to the stables. Alice was concerned when she didn't see the happy, excited Bandersnatch. She started to stress again, but Tarrant soothed her. ''One moment,'' he said releasing her hand. He whistled a few times.

Alice narrowed her eyes. She saw a big shape approaching them. She recognized him. He halted in front of them and started playing with Tarrant. ''I guess you've grown close to each other in my absence?'' she asked smiling. ''Yes, she's right, isn't she Dex?'' he asked scratching the nose of the creature. ''Are you ready for our adventure?'' he asked him playfully. Dexter jumped and moved excitedly and licked him. ''I guess that's a yes,'' he said grinning.

Tarrant patted him and walked to his side. He jumped on his back and held his hand out to Alice. She took it and he pulled her up behind him. ''Are you ready?'' he asked her. Alice sighed and nodded. ''I am, let's go before anyone notices we're gone.'' She put her arms around his waist and leaned against his back.

Dexter started moving, and she watched the castle slowly growing smaller and smaller, until dark trees cut off her sight.

Author's Note: Hullo! I know it took me quite some time to update this story. I hope you enjoyed it anyways, and I hope you'll leave a review with your opinion. Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 ➛Shadow Talks**

Alice turned around to look at the castle one last time, memorizing the sight of the beautiful white, light-reflecting, marble walls. She knew she wouldn't return there for quite some time. This thought saddened her in some way but also gave her hope. She was going on her own adventure with the person she wouldn't give up for all the power or riches that Wonderland possessed.

She looked at Hatter's dark and shady form that she was holding tightly. His electric orange hair slightly bobbing up and down with Dexter's long and heavy strides. Smiling to herself, she rested her head against his shoulder.

She yawned widely and closed her eyes momentarily as she teased the drowsiness that was starting to appear. Despite her long slumber at the Ascot's estate, weariness had taken over once more.

She wasn't glad to break the comfortable silence that rested between them, but she sensed that if she wouldn't bring it up now, it wouldn't happen at all. ''Hatter?'' He hummed softly. ''Do you know a place where we can rest?'' she asked tiredly as she retreats her head and looks at his face as he turns to her.

''I do know a place, but it's going to take some time to get there,'' he said hesitantly as he returns his focus on the road ahead. Alice stifled her second yawn, but her eyelids were starting to droop now. It frustrated her, not being able to stay awake when it is necessary.

She forced her eyes open and fought the fogginess that was now entering her mind and dispersing her thoughts. ''It's fine. Can we go there?'' she asks blinking the sleep away.

As she tries to keep the sleep at bay she is surprised to hear Hatter's voice again, ''Are you managing to stay awake?'' he asks softly as he turns to her once again. ''Yeah, I'm managing,'' she said, fighting a fresh yawn.

He chuckled softly and shook his head. ''No, you're not.'' She only barely heard his words and she was startled when Dexter suddenly halted. ''C'mon. You can't sleep like that, you might tumble off,'' Hatter says as he holds out his arm to her.

She takes it and he shifts his position so she can sit in front of him and he can hold her at the same time as steering Dexter in the right way.

She was leaning against him and almost immediately she allowed the sleep to take over, just after she could hear him say, ''Goodnight, my dearest Alice.'' And he places a soft kiss on her brow.

* * *

''Alice.'' she heard a distant voice call softly. She felt a slight brush on her cheek and she smiled. ''Alice. Wake up.'' The voice wasn't stern nor flat. It was a beautiful rich voice, hinted by the sound of a slight lisp.

She would recognize that voice anywhere. And as her eyes flutter open, she's face to face with the attractive man that she came back to Wonderland for.

She smiled at him and curtly pecked his lips. She stretched and blinked the sleep from her eyes.

''Where are we?'' she asked curiously after taking her time to examine the room.

Hatter looked into the room uncertainly and sighed. ''I've brought you to my childhood home. This is where I grew up.'' His smile slowly faded.

''You lived here?'' she asked, knowing he was reminded of his family. ''Yes, you can say so,'' he said.

She watched him and gave him a sideways hug. ''I know this reminds you of your family. And I know what you're feeling. I lost my father.''

He looked at her and Alice couldn't bear the sadness in his eyes. Hatter was always cheerful, happy and let's not forget mad. But whenever he was sad, it was heartbreaking.

Alice wanted to help but didn't know how to. She smiled at herself and asked softly, ''Do we really need to go or is there still some time left for a nice cup of tea?''

Hatter knew what she was doing and his grin returned. ''I suppose there's time for one cup,'' he said thoughtfully.

Alice chuckled and kissed his cheek.

Once downstairs, Alice took her time to look around. She was curious about his house but she was afraid to ask questions because he might return to his sad state.

''Hatter?'' she turned to him. He was sitting on the ground in front of the fireplace, watching the fire crackle. ''If you want to go that's fine. I'd understand.'' She didn't want to make him stay if he was not feeling comfortable.

I approached him and sat down next to him. Again the sadness had returned and I felt my heart rip apart. I hugged him again. ''It's ok.'' He rested his head on her shoulder and a tear trickled down his cheek.

''I miss them, Alice,'' he whispered heartbrokenly. She closed her eyes and tightened her grip. ''I know. The Red Queen has done a terrible thing. And I understand how you feel,'' Alice said sympathetically.

''I know you do,'' he sighed. ''But that doesn't take that terrible feeling away,'' he said hoarsely.

Alice retreated and watched him with tears in her eyes. ''Maybe, one day, we can make a family of our own,'' she said softly, wiping away his tears. He smiled a little and looked at the ground.

Alice adjusted his hat so it sat straight on his bright orange hair. The kettle started whistling and Hatter was about to stand up, but Alice pushed him back down. ''Stay here, I'll get the cups.''

Hatter grinned at her and stood up again. ''Together.'' He took her hand and pulled her to another room, which was obviously a kitchen.

He opened a cabinet and there sat two identical cups. He took them out and poured them both with hot water.

He prepared their tea while Alice was watching him quietly, hoping he wouldn't become too upset. If she had known that when he meant that he knew a place to sleep, he had meant this place, she would never have told him to go. She'd rather sleep on the forest ground than to see Hatter upset.

''Where's Dexter?'' Alice asked, breaking the silence. ''I've let him outside while you were asleep,'' Tarrant replied. He passed her one of the cups and she took it gratefully. She wanted to down it quickly so they could be on their way, but the tea was steaming hot.

They went to sit down at the dining table and Alice couldn't help but notice that Hatter's gloominess wouldn't vanish. Watching him with a concerned expression, she placed her hand on his and smiled.

She didn't have any words to say. At least she didn't know how to say what she was feeling.

''Do you want to talk about them?'' she asked softly, dreading that it might be stupid to ask such thing. But Hatter smiled at her and nodded.

While he told her about his family she noticed he actually cheered up a little. Even if it was just a little, she was happy that she had managed to distract him for now. He even chuckled a few times which made Alice smile.

He told her about her childhood memories that were really dear.

Even though he had cheered up a little, Alice was glad when she noticed that they had finished their tea, because that meant they could get going.

''If you want, I can show you a picture of my family.'' He took her hand and pulled her into another room. He dropped down on his knees in front of an old wooden box and opened it. As he was rummaging through the contents, Alice was watching him uncertainly.

She was afraid that a picture of his family might upset him again, but before she had gathered the courage to say anything he had already pulled out a painting of the Hightopp family.

He sat down, crossed legged and watched the faces on the painting. He started pointing around at all the faces and naming them as a small smile crept up his face.

When he finished he sighed and placed the painting back in the box before closing it and turning to Alice. ''Thanks. I suppose that I just needed to talk about them.'' He hugged her and Alice placed her arms around him as he placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

''Let's go. We need to get going,'' Alice said smiling at him. She was happy that his mood had brightened and was grateful that he didn't go mad.

They quickly left the house and Alice was surprised at all the trees surrounding the clearing where only the Hightopp's house was built.

''This must've been a great place to play when you were little,'' Alice said looking around at nature.

''Yes. Yes, it was.''

Alice felt his hand tremble and she squeezed it softly to let him know he's not alone.

''So, where's Dexter?''

''We need to call him. He's somewhere in the forest.''

Alice nodded and stepped forward. She cupped her hands to her mouth and shouted, ''Dexter!''

They noticed several birds emerge from the trees in the distance, knowing that Dexter was approaching and scaring all the other animals away.

''There he comes,'' Hatter muttered as soft thumps became louder and louder. In no time, Dexter had jumped from the green wall in front of them and Alice gasped startled at the sudden appearance.

Dexter stopped beside them and waited for them to mount him. Alice greeted him with a soft pat before climbing on his back. ''Do you want to ride?'' Alice asked looking down at Tarrant. ''I'm ok.'' He jumped on behind her and slowly his arms slithered around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder.

He yawned and Alice looked at him with a frown. ''Did you get any sleep last night?'' she asked softly.

He nodded. ''I slept on the floor. It wasn't very comfortable so I kept waking up,'' he explained with an innocent look in his eyes.

Alice raised an eyebrow. ''Alright, fine. I didn't get any sleep, but it's ok. I'm fine.''

She sighed and they set off into the forest.

* * *

Tarrant let her head rest on Alice's shoulder and Alice knew he was still a little upset. She wanted nothing more than to help, but she was terrified to death she might only make it worse.

''Tarrant?'' Alice asked uncertainly.

''Hmm?''

''I love you.'' She felt like it might help him get his mind off his family, even though she hated to draw attention to herself at emotional moments. He smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek. ''I love you too, Alice,'' he whispered hugging her tightly.

She didn't know if she succeeded at distracting him, but at least she let him know she's there for him.

''Alice, can I talk to you about my past?'' he asked suddenly which caught Alice by surprise. He did want to talk about his past which was not what she expected at all.

''Of course,'' she said kindly.

''All right.'' He sighed. And started telling Alice about his childhood and all the good memories he had of his family.

He told her about the first hat he had ever made and about his brothers and sisters who all seemed to be just like him, only slightly less mad.

Everything he said seemed to go smoothly but when he came to the part of Horunvendush day, his voice faltered and I saw the tears return to his eyes.

Alice placed a hand on his shoulder. ''It's OK. Don't be afraid to cry,'' she said softly.

He nodded and continued.

''On my twelfth birthday my parents had organized a birthday party for me at my grandparent's house. That was the day the Jabberwocky killed the whole Hightopp clan, except me. When the Jabberwocky had come, my dad told my mum to take me with her and hide. He couldn't come with us because he had to fight for the Queen, which was Mirana's aunt at the time.''

His voice was quiet and Alice had to strain to hear what he was saying over the snapping of branches and the pounding of Dexter's feet.

''My mother took me into the forest and hid me under a big tree root. She wanted to hide, but she was too late. I could already hear the Guards coming.'' He stopped for a moment and sighed as a tear rolled down his cheek.

''My mother told me to stay where I was until it would be safe again. The last thing she said to me was, 'I love you, Tarrant. Remember, I will always love you.' before they took her away from me and beheaded her.''

Alice watched him from the back and was shocked. She wanted to say something but nothing would come to her mind. She put her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

She felt tears sliding down her cheeks. ''That's awful. You were just a small boy,'' she whispered. He turned his head to look at her. ''I was, and after that, I lived with the White Queen. But at least I survived,'' he said softly, Alice saw a tear escaping his eye.

She admired his ability to look at the bright side of most things. He might be mad, but he had a heart of gold and a sharp mind.

''I'm so sorry you had to go through that,'' Alice whispered. ''Well, it's the past. What we must focus on is the present,'' he said smiling. ''You've returned, that is all I could ever wish for.''

He turned his head to face what was in front of him again. ''Come on Dexter, almost there,'' he whispered into Dexter's ear. ''How much longer do we have to travel?'' Alice asked. ''Only several miles, but there's one problem.''

Alice raised an eyebrow. ''There are guards hiding everywhere. We need to be able to cross the border without being seen.''

Alice sighed and touched her head. ''Do you have an idea?'' she asked trying to come up with one herself.

Silence settled upon them as if Alice hadn't said anything. She didn't mind, because she knew that he was probably coming up with some kind of master plan.

The rest of the ride went in silence. The knowledge that any guard might have their bows aimed at them, carefully hidden beneath the vegetation, was starting to unsettle Alice. With every step, they closed in on the border, so it was only more than logical that there must be a lot of guards in the forest surrounding them.

Suddenly Dexter stopped walking abruptly and I could hear him growl softly. Hatter placed a comforting hand on his head. ''It's alright,'' he whispered in his ear before dismounting him and helping Alice down.

''Hide at my childhood home. When we need you we will call for you,'' Hatter says as he pats Dexter softly. After the goodbye licks from Dexter, he set off into the woods, toward Hatter's old home.

''What now?'' Alice asked quietly as she watched Hatter examine their surroundings carefully. It takes him a few seconds to turn to her, but as he faces her, a smirk crosses his face and he suddenly jumps up, catching a thick branch above them. ''We go through the trees,'' he said as he grinned down at her.

He pulled himself up and straightened on the branch as he looked around and hopped onto another.

Alice watched him in horror. How was she supposed to do that? She had grown up in the city. She had never climbed in a tree, let alone jump from branch to branch.

Hatter noticed her rigid form through the branches and he silently hops back toward her. ''Alice, come on. We've got to go,'' he whispers as he looks around with concern.

Suddenly they hear the creaking of branches closeby, and Alice stares at the bushes in pure terror. It was over. She was going to get caught and brought back to Marmoreal and she wouldn't have any chance to find out what was really going on.

She closed her eyes and waited for the guards to appear. And as she heard the voices nearing them, she could suddenly feel hands gripping her tightly and pulling her into the air. It takes her a whole lot of self-control to keep in the shriek she was about to let out when she felt the hands grip her armpits.

She opened her eyes and looked around in horror. Her bottom connected with a branch and she balanced herself on top of it. It's then she realized that Hatter was dangling from the branch, his legs wrapped around the branch as he swings himself onto the branch and next to Alice.

He puts his finger to his lips and watches her earnestly as two guards protrude from the bushes just beneath the tree.

Both clothed completely white, their helmets tugged beneath their arms as they were cutting through the rough undergrowth that clawed at their shins.

''So, Frank,'' one of them said, uncertainty hinting his voice. The other guard rolled his eyes and turned to face him, just below the branch where Hatter and Alice were seated, holding their breaths. ''What?'' The annoyance in his voice was very clear, and it made Alice wonder if he was indeed a good person.

The guard who had started the conversation shuffled on his feet, but then looked into Frank's eyes. ''Why did the Queen want us to look for them here? Why would they want to go to the Outlands?'' he asks softly as he lowers his voice in the second part of his question.

Frank let out an exaggerated sigh and said, ''Because the Queen fears for her champion's health. She is convinced that she has become delusional and that she had been ranting on and on about how Ilosovich Stayne had chased her,'' Frank says as he talks with a baby voice. ''Oh, yeah. Right.''

''I wonder why she has sent you to come with me. If we need to chase some mad person than I would rather do it with someone else,'' Frank muttered under his breath.

As they started to make their way out of sight, Alice could feel her blood boil. How could the Queen say that?

Tarrant placed his hand on one of Alice's pulled up knees. ''Are you OK?'' he asks softly. ''Fine,'' she says curtly as she straightens on the branch, trying to keep her balance. ''Hatter,'' she says, as she looks into his eyes. ''I can't do this,'' she says with a glazy expression.

He halted next to her and took her hand. ''Let's do it together. You'll jump as close to the trunk as you can so you can grip it tightly when you hit the branch,'' he says as he locks eyes with her. Then he smiles softly. ''It's going to be alright,'' he says as he squeezes her hand confidently.

''OK. But I'm only doing this because you seem to have such confidence in me,'' she says as she lets out a shaky breath. She glanced down at the ground and she could feel her head starting to spin. Come on, Alice! Just do it. You're not like all the other women, you can do this! she thought as she focuses on the next branch. And if not, the thick undergrowth will save you.

She grinned and looked at Tarrant, nodding curtly, before focusing on the branch and together, they leaped.


End file.
